A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. We met online on a forum. I was aware that he also talked to another woman. I didn't have a problem with it at the time. We got to know each other better and he said he would like for us to meet sometime. We didn't live very far apart (only an hour and a half) so I agreed. Our relationship moved forward from that day and we now live together. Over the next couple of years, I was aware that he was still talking to the woman from the forum via Facebook. I asked him about her and he informed me that there was nothing going on and that she was just a friend that he had met and taken out for a drink once. Ok, fair enough.A few months later she began being more forward on Facebook toward him. I asked him what it was about and he assured me that she was only an old friend he had met once. Nothing more. Things were fine until a few days ago. He suddenly deleted her from Facebook. I was shocked he would delete her, but I didn't say anything.Yesterday, he told me he had deleted her. When i asked why, he said it was because he didn't talk to her anymore, they never met, he never had any interest in her because of how she looked, etc. I was confused and reminded him that he did tell me he had met her not once, but twice. He was furious! He insists that he never met her at all and is now accusing me of making things up. I just don't understand why he would lie about something like that. Was he lying then or is he lying now? It seems a bit suspicious to me. I thought he was 100% trustworthy, but I don't anymore. He smokes weed several times per day. He has said before that it makes him have a bad memory. Could it be that he has just forgotten that he met her? What do you all think about this? It sounds silly but it's really bothering me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2012): Hi, thank you all for the fast replies. x
I will try to respond to everyone individually.
"It's not the weed. He's lying about it for some reason
It should bother you.
are you sure HE deleted her and not the other way around?
you forget casual things like tv commercials and such when smoking regularly but meeting folks and being friends on facebook, that you don't forget...
I'm wondering if there was something up with them that he was keeping from you....
it's amazing to me how folks think that lying about ANYTHING is ok and that it won't undermine the trust in their relationship."
I'm not sure who deleted who. He insisted that he deleted her, but since he lied about meeting her, I don't believe him.
I'm glad it isn't the weed ruining his memory. That's what he's always told me. I've never been able to smoke it myself due to asthma, so I didn't know.
Yeah. :( Lies do nothing but ruin trust in a relationship. I can't bring myself to believe anything he says now! I look at him and wonder what else he's lied about. I feel like I don't even know him now.
"It's nothing to do with his smoking weed, thats an obvious excuse to make, its textbook twisting the truth to avoid confrontation for his actions and making you look like the crazy one.
It doesn't sound silly and you are rightfully confused and bothered about it.
Chances are something was going on with this woman before and during your relationship and hes extremely bad at hiding his tracks by forgetting what story hes given you to begin with, realised you had believed him and put it to the back of his head.
The angry and defensive behaviour and sudden facebook deletion could indicate that he has broken it off with her or vice versa.
Get a real story out of him and ask the tiniest, stupidest details if you need to, thats usually where liars get caught out on things they're not expecting.
Good luck X"
He really does try to make me look like the crazy one. He's always going on about how insane/paranoid I am and says everything is all in my head. But she's the only one I have ever had an issue with and I don't snoop through his computer or his phone. I don't know why he thinks I'm so paranoid for worrying about this one girl.
He's a terrible liar. The truth always seems to come out eventually. This isn't the first time he's lied about something, but it was usually very small things before. I'll try asking him again tomorrow just to see what he says. It will be interesting to see how much the story has changed this time.
A male reader, anonymous, writes: "bad memory? more like bad liar. nobody just forgets that they met someone. come on now. but you already know this. it sounds to me like he carried on some sort of weird friendship/relationship with her, while playing it off as nothing to you. i wouldn't believe what he says. i think they were a lot closer than he led on about. and i think he deleted her or she deleted him because they had an "ending" to whatever relationship they were carrying on behind your back. i would do some more research and digging on your end. try and find out more. becuase there's a lot more going on than what you think. good luck."
I've always wondered if they were carrying on something behind my back. He's always acted very strange any time I mentioned her. He didn't even want me being friends with her on Facebook! I always thought that was suspicious. I probably will try to do some research. I wonder if I should ask her about it?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 December 2012):
 It's not the weed. He's lying about it for some reason
It should bother you.
are you sure HE deleted her and not the other way around?
you forget casual things like tv commercials and such when smoking regularly but meeting folks and being friends on facebook, that you don't forget...
I'm wondering if there was something up with them that he was keeping from you....
it's amazing to me how folks think that lying about ANYTHING is ok and that it won't undermine the trust in their relationship.
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A
female
reader, Warm-Inspire  +, writes (27 December 2012):
 It's nothing to do with his smoking weed, thats an obvious excuse to make, its textbook twisting the truth to avoid confrontation for his actions and making you look like the crazy one.It doesn't sound silly and you are rightfully confused and bothered about it.Chances are something was going on with this woman before and during your relationship and hes extremely bad at hiding his tracks by forgetting what story hes given you to begin with, realised you had believed him and put it to the back of his head.The angry and defensive behaviour and sudden facebook deletion could indicate that he has broken it off with her or vice versa.Get a real story out of him and ask the tiniest, stupidest details if you need to, thats usually where liars get caught out on things they're not expecting.Good luckX
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2012): bad memory? more like bad liar. nobody just forgets that they met someone. come on now. but you already know this. it sounds to me like he carried on some sort of weird friendship/relationship with her, while playing it off as nothing to you. i wouldn't believe what he says. i think they were a lot closer than he led on about. and i think he deleted her or she deleted him because they had an "ending" to whatever relationship they were carrying on behind your back. i would do some more research and digging on your end. try and find out more. becuase there's a lot more going on than what you think. good luck.
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