A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have just started my final year of university and for the most part of the past 2 years (when i started) I have been literally THE closest of close friends with a guy I met on my course. (guy A)long story short; in the beginning we really liked each other and ended up together for a few months (after he dumped a girl for me).. and did everything but full sex. this came to an end in december 2009 when he returned home for christmas and, to put a long story short, dumped me for the girl he originally dumped. i was incredibly hurt and refused to speak to him for ages. they are still together now. however;a few months after breaking up, me and him were back to hanging out all the time and just getting closer and closer again. strictly as friends and it was fine, i was over him (though i always thought maybe there was still some kinda spark there). there were a couple of points where i thought maybe we were getting a bit TOO close- we went on a night out and ended up sleeping/ cuddling in bed together (although nothing sexual happened) and there have been times where i thought he was going to kiss me etc but nothing ever happened (even if he tried i wouldnt have let it as he had a girlfriend). there were points when i thought 'he definitely still likes me' but when i'd think about it, i'd think 'no of course he doesnt, if he did he'd dump his girlfriend for me'. i noticed whenever i mentioned about liking or getting with another guy, he'd got a bit cold on me. all our friends at uni have always thought we were still slyly getting together, too. but anyway, all in all we were fine just being good friends. that was until a week ago.we had arranged to go on a night out with a few friends from our course on saturday night- and for the first time ever, his house mate (guy B) was coming out with us. i had never said anything more than "hi" to guy B until then, but one thing led to another throughout the night and we ended up getting together (just kissing). when i returned home from the night out, i noticed guy A had texted me saying "you and 'guy B' ehhhhh?" then after i didnt reply for 5 minutes, he sent another saying "Oh." i then went on to text him back saying we'd got together, and he started replying with short blunt answers until he stopped replying at all. I thought he couldnt really be that annoyed, i didnt think he had any right to be after what he did to me 2 years ago so i just decided to think nothing of it. the next day (hungover) i had to go over to their house to collect some of my things i had left the night before. me and guy B decided to go out and hang out abit as we'd decided to start seeing each other, long story short guy A just started avoiding us both (without saying anything) which ended up in me and him having a really long conversation/argument over text about whether he had a problem. he basically said lots of small things bothered him about it that shouldnt. but he wouldnt tell me what. then he continued being funny with me for the rest of the week.me and guy B just kinda realised it was never going to work, basing a potential relationship around a drunken mistake so we called it off- guy B told guy A that we had called it a day and then the next day out of the blue guy A is texting me allll day asking loads of questions about it and stuff!! were back to being okay now i think though......opinions anyone? why did guy A act this way? and was i overstepping a line by getting with my ex boyfriends housemate?
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christmas, drunk, kissing, my ex, spark, text, university Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionguy A and guy B might live together but they aren't close. as far as guy A is concerned, guy B doesnt know anything that happened between me and guy A (he only does because I told him). I am far closer with guy A than guy B is, so I know its nothing to do with secrets about him he didnt want sharing. as for me being in his house/ his personal space, I pretty much already am half the time anyway so i know it can't be that lol
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011): Maybe his housemate knows secrets about him that he didn't want sharing?Or maybe he couldn't handle you being potentially in his home/space if it were to develop with lad B?I wouldn't even bother communicating with either of them, leave them to it and find others to hang around with.(A) has a weird idea of 'just friends' so at the moment distance is best.
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