A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I'm 32 weeks pregnant expecting a little boy. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. Our little boy was unplanned but we're both excited. My boyfriend has a 5 year old daughter who I have raised and learned to love as if she is my own. I wasn't planning on having kids; I always thought I would be married first. Before I got pregnant my boyfriend told me he wanted to be with me forever and that one day we would get married. I got pregnant in February and in January he told me that he had a surprise for me in July. July came around and nothing happened. I talk to him about marriage but he won't answer me why his view is now different about me. It hurts me to hear that he doesn't want to get married, its like before i was pregnant he wanted to do what ever it took to make sure I was his only but now that I'm pregnant he thinks I will be here no matter what? His ex girl friend and him broke up 4 years ago, they were engaged and he caught her cheating on him. Why all of a sudden does my boyfriend have committment issues when before I was pregnant he wanted nothing more than to take my hand in marriage? What do I do and how do I cope with the fact that maybe he has fallen out? I don't want to be with someone who isn't in love with me and the last thing i thought i'd ever do was to have children with someone who doesnt want to spend the rest of their life with me. Please help, I'm 32 weeks pregnant and in a mess :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011): if you and him weren't actually ever planning to have kids together, maybe his vision of marriage was you and him together as a couple having lots of time alone to enjoy each other's company and do couple-things together (I presume his daughter isn't always with you two but spends most of her time at her biological mom's). But now that you're also pregnant this is going to be a full-time live-in kid and a baby at that, which definitely puts a damper on the "couple life." So maybe he's mourning the loss of what he envisioned the marriage to be and trying to come to terms with it being the routine baby-rearing stress that he never actually wanted or expected.
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