A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up with recently. The reason he gave me was that when he thinks back to his career he wouldn't have time for me and that he rushed into things. I told him how I felt and everything but he said his decision is final. It hurt me so much but then today I found out the actual reason from a third party. He told them that the real reason is because he couldn't secure a proper job and that at time he felt useless and wasn't good enough for me. He also said to them that he hopes that in future that we are fated to be together. Why couldn't he have just told me the truth? I have been supporting him all this while. Now I feel like I am such a jerk because he keeps saying he'll take the blame and I should forget everything and continue with my normal life. I know it's hurting him because he told my friend if he were to call me he might cry so he doesn't dare to do so. Why must he hurt himself this way? I really feel useless because I cannot help him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for answering me. I feel much better.
A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi  +, writes (6 October 2008):
 He seems to be one that has to stand on his own before he can commit to anyone. This is a good thing for the person he will be with. Pride is a HUGE thing for a lot of people, they don't want someone to know that they are not doing well, when they are trying so hard. They don't want anyone to know that they may have failed at something. This is possibly why he didn't tell you the whole truth.
Maybe he will get things situated soon and give you a call. Be patient, as hard as it may be and it will surly pay off if he intends on being with you.
You, unfortunately, can't help him. He will have to do this on his own to make himself happy. That doesn't make you a bad person or anything. It actually makes you a great person that you want to help.
He's going to be tough on himself, because that is how he is and that is exactly what makes him the person he is. Again, this is not a bad thing, however; he will stress himself in times that he doesn't have too.
I wish you luck sweetie and hey... be a great friend to him, that can help him more than you know.
Take care,
Michelle
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): What's to say he was telling you the truth, and the other people what they wanted to hear, so as not to make himself look bad in their eyes?
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