A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Others,Do you believe that friendship between a girl and a boy can work fine? I'm in a problem as there is a boy in my class who loves me, more than just friends. He told me that he thinks he is in love with me (still now not sure because I don't return his feelings). I like this guy a lot, I am so proud that he is my friend. I don't want to lose and hurt him. But I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM!!!!! I don't want a relationship without emotions, because I know that will end badly. I will suffer and lying to myself is not a clever thing to do... just because he feels more for me. The biggest problem is that everybody think we are in a relationship because we like to be with each-other, we are spending our free time together. But we don't kiss, don't touch, we are seriously just friends. But very good friends. And I don't want to screw up our friendship, but my friends are telling me that "This guy is suffering because of you, so you should be with him as his girlfriend or forget him!"... So I don't know what to do. Why can't I stay friends with him?? Why only: "forget" or "be his girlfriend". I don't want to forget him, he means a lot to me, he is like my brother, but I can not be with him because I am NOT in love with him. Help me please, seriously it can not happen that we stay friends? (everybody is telling me this, that the guy is suffering and I am so cruel that I make him suffer... ) - tough he never looks sad or anything when he is with me.... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (21 April 2013):
He wont look sad but eventually he will. You forget that this isn't entirely about you because he also has feelings for you. There isn't more help you need because your friends are actually telling you the right way to do things, that if you do not want to be with him you should forget him.
Why? Because he will always have expectations that you will eventually like him. He will become jealous when you decide to be with another. He will continue to do all these nice things for you to show you how great he can be. But all you will ever see him as, is a brother. It is sad for him and you, because you think so highly of him but alas, another guy has been friendzoned. You could always talk to him about these things as well and see where it goes.
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