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male
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anonymous
writes: I'm in a relationship with a wonderful woman that has problems. When she has a drink she brings up the past alot mostley bad things. I know she does love me but its tearing me apart. This wonderful woman runs a pub and we fall out quite regular and she sends me home, I'm the one who gets back in touch and say all the nice things like how much I love her and how special she is to me but sometimes she says nasty things but deep down I know she doesn't mean it, she will say things like yeah whatever and things like that. I know she has had a rough ride in the past in relationships and family life as she doean't talk to her mum anymore cos she has done evil things to her and slandered her. I try so hard to make her see I'm not like anyone else and will treat her right and always have. Please help me :-( Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): Look lets be honest about this situation , she will never change unless she gets some professional help. You cant change this woman she has to do it for herself, by accepting her behavior you are giving her the green light to carry on abusing you. And this is a form of abuse, if you love her like you say you have to be strong with her tell her that she needs help that you will give her all the support you can but that this situation has to stop as its getting you down. You are not a saint and one day you will realise that youve wasted alot of years being unhappy and that will fester inside you and destroy your confidence. If she doesnt want to go to councelling then there is very little that you can do for this lady im afraid. If she is willing to go and sort out her demons then there is a strong chance that it will work other wise i would make the decision to walk away and have a happy life with someone who will respect you not abuse you
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): I wouldn't hang around, why are you doing this? You are worth more. Obviously she is on a destruction course to nowhere, don't let her bring you down with her. Have a chat with her and let her know just how she makes you feel. Maybe she just doesn't realise the effect she is having on you. Put your cards firmly on the table and maybe one day she will realise but if i was you i would walk and not look back.
Take care you only live once.
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