| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'll apologize ahead of time for the length, but I can't stop dwelling on this and I'd like some input on what it could be. Basically she'd rather look at the ceiling than me, and I'm not over exaggerating (we work together). We dated for a few months and became very close to each other. She always had trust issues but told me I was always different and she felt she could tell me anything (and ended up telling me some very deep secrets). This came crashing down though when her ex came into the picture and they slept together. She later claimed she had strong feelings for me but felt things wouldn't work between us because of our age difference (I'm 21 and she's 26) and her inability to stop talking to her ex, despite not wanting to date him again but she wanted to remain friends when I was ready to do so.To sum up a very long story beyond this point. Things were uncertain until a couple months went by of no contact when she finally approached me and told me she was sorry. She then said she was done seeing him completely and wanted him out of her life. Still having feelings for her, I asked her the next day if she would like to go on a date when she felt ready to. She said she needed time, and later yelled at me and told me to leave her alone. She then confessed that everything I did irritated her lately and she didn't know why, but said I needed to give her space (despite us already not talking prior to all this). I then found out she went on a date with another coworker so I assumed the obvious and cut off all ties. When she found out I deleted her on facebook she snapped at me and said I clearly didn't know the type of person she is and said I need to leave her alone. So I did, but later found myself intentionally bumping into her as often as I could and I honestly don't know why. This backfired when she claimed I was creeping her out and other people noticed as well. When I realized what I was actually doing I sincerely apologized. She then again told me to just forget it because it wouldn't work between us. A few months went by where I avoided her at all costs. I did buy her a doll just recently as a late "sorry" and she now keeps it on her desk next to a portrait of her close friend and another gift I had given her a while back. I figured that may be a good sign (that and her occasional glance at me) but when I tried to follow up a week later and ask if we could talk (mainly so I could apologize in a more cooled down state). All she said was that she had nothing to say to me, and walked away without once looking at me. It hurt, to say the least. I realize where this all went wrong (I think) and that it's probably not salvageable but none of it at the end just adds up for me. I understand I messed up, but I don't feel I did anything that warrants this sort of treatment when she is just as guilty in this. If I did, I don't understand why she would keep (let alone display) something I gave to her.
View related questions:
co-worker, facebook, her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2012): Hi,
Your ex/friend has some deep issues that she'd need to address by seeing a counsellor. Be glad it all stopped because the girl seems very unstable. Someone as unstable as her will only form unhealthy relationships. Do you know how draining it can be? I think you might have an idea, but it can also drive you (a.k.a the more stable one) crazy. My advice would be to try your best to move on and find someone who has it all together. You'll be a lot happier. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): Any kind of relationship with people like her is a never ending roller coaster. It was exhausting just reading your post. she's highly unstable and yanking people around. she's got some big issues to sort out on her own and may need medication for that. Until she does, you would do best to stay far away from her. You should find someone else who's more emotionally stable and clear-minded.
...............................
A
female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (26 February 2012):
 Find someone else. She's very unstable for a 26-year-old and you're like a love struck puppy. There's too much drama involved here too. Yelling, playing the field (dating other coworkers), the ex factor etc. I don't see anything wrong that you did except that you insist too much. From what I read it's clear that she doesn't reciprocate. But you are ready to crow your head off with joy for as little as a glance from her. It happens to us all at some point. I don't see her as outstandingly mature either from what you describe so it's not necessarily an age difference thing, but take her word for it and move on. Why does she keep your present? People don't always have a reason for everything. Surely you will find other lovely girls, and girls usually love attention - when it's called for. See how many girls complain their signficant other doesn't call them or invest time in them - you clearly have a lot to invest, just a matter of putting the eggs in the right basket, so to speak. Best of luck!
...............................
|
