A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:what do i do if i feel my man of nearly 2 years is not giving me his all, its LDR we see each other best we can and we commited and loyal to each other, text when we say we are going to text, talk on the net everynight, but i am getting like a cold feeling when he his on the net, sometimes he wont speak for a good ten mins inbetween conversations, and its hurts, i wonder what he his doing, i ask him, he says he his not doing nothing, just nothing to say, i did him a very long text to send him explaining how i am feeling that he his not giving me his all, and that if he his one of these men that dont let people get close to him then i am not the girl for him, i need a lot of hugs cuddles reasuring that things are fine, i am so scard he will meet someone in his home town one day, but he said unless you dont have a twin you need not worry, and that there is only one of me, but the text i never sent it, i dont know wheather to sit him down and tell him and ask him why he his holding back with me, but i dont want to him to think i am being needy and scare him off, cause i want more love from him, his last girl he was with was not loving at all so its hard for him to get use to been loved and probably loving me cause he probably dont know how to love, cause i am a very loving person, but what do i do do i walk away broken hearted, of have a chat with him, i am hoping to move nearer to him so i see him more, which he said is good, i will be nearer can see each other more, and i asked him if he wants me in his life, and he says yes, so is it me am i thinking too much am i expecting too much instead of just sitting back and enjoying what we have got together, i feel i love him more than he loves me, and that hurts,i sometimes feel its one sided, when we are together he shows me with actions how much he loves me not just sex on what he does for me as well, but no good with the love words, so what do i do any advice agony aunts and does this man love me but not one to say just show me i cry myself to sleep cause of this problem and i love this man so so much,
View related questions:
text, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): THANKS FOR THE REPLYS, i always feel tons better when you agony aunts and uncles give me answers, thanks, i always come to this website when i have problems, and yeh your all right, my man his trying his best to keep me happy, i am probably worring about nothing, and yes c grant i will talk to him next time i see him, bring things up in the conversation not tell him direct we have to talk, just gradualy ask him where he sees us going, and yes galaqueen i do need to believe in myself, i am not confident about myself at all, it probably does boil down to that, scard that one day he will meet someone in his town, but i suppose he has reasured me off that he wont, not another me he said, bless, so yes thanks for all your answers and for taking the time out for reading and answering,
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (16 July 2011):
 It's sounds like you are quite self-aware. This line is particularly important:
"...i need a lot of hugs cuddles reasuring that things are fine ..."
I would think that what you need would be awfully difficult to get in a LDR. It's not unreasonably to want what you feel you need in a relationship, but it's important to be aware that not everyone is this way. It sounds like you and your guy have different needs and wants from a relationship. It may be that he does love you, and it may be that he is unaccustomed to being treated lovingly. Or it may be that his comfort zone is in being minimalist with affection.
Your concern, that by bringing this up he might be scared off, is valid. There is a subset of men out there who hate to feel smothered. Keep that in mind as you talk to him.
I wouldn't suggest that you just keep quiet -- crying yourself to sleep is hardly the sign of a fulfilling relationship. I would suggest that you ask him what his hopes and needs are -- what does he want from the relationship, where does he see it going, etc. Don't do this in a "we need to talk" format -- that strikes fear into every man's heart. Instead, on one of the occasions where you're together, casually lead the conversation in that direction. Be an attentive listener and don't try to lead the conversation. Be aware that you may not care for what you hear.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (15 July 2011):
 I think you're overreacting and you just need to relax. You say he's committed to you and he's trying to keep you happy, so why push it? Just because there are pauses in ur convos on the internet doesn't mean anything bad. It's most likely that he doesn't know what or have anything to say. Sometimes it gets that way after two yrs of being together and you've talked about everything. So stop worrying because he is trying his best to please you and you will push him away if you keep pushing the fact that you're unsatisfied when you're talking online.
...............................
|
