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Why can't my husband ejaculate after having sex with me?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 January 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 8 January 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I was wondering why does my husband still masturbate if he has a wife to please him? I continue to catch him masturbating and that really hurts me and makes me feel like I'm not doing my job at home when I do every sexual favor he wants but even though I do that he doesn't cum, he has to masturbate alone to finish off his business and I'm just really getting turned off about it, I spoke to him about it and he says it's because he so used to masturbating that it's kinda hard for him so every time he asks me to have sex I say no because I figure what for... If you can't even continue with me... I just want to know what you might think about it...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

You are amazing, I agree. It's unfortunate that his masturbation is distracting him from focusing on you. I wish my wife acted the way you do with your hubby. Beyond the basic missionary, yawn, I can't pay my wife for a stroke.

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (8 January 2010):

I think there is a specific image that he needs in his mind to get him off. And that image is not of normal sex. It might be a little deviant which is why he needs to finish himself off. Maybe contact a sex therapist because if he can get aroused by you then ideally he should be able to climax with you. He should save his wanking for his private sessions alone, not while you are having sex with him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

Masterbation will occur whether or not a man is in a relationship.

Hell I'm sure Monica Bellucci's boyfriends still stroked the salami now and then.

For guys it is instant sexual gratification, without consequence. It is not a judgement of your sexial prowess as a woman.

We guys are simple creatures and our sex drives, by and large, far outstrip those of women. We want sex so much more often.

We don't need to be in the mood. We don't need have cnadles and dinners and foreplay. No we just need to think of a naked lady and stroke and ina few minutes the climax has been reached.

If he has to masterbate to get himself over the line when he is in bed with you... you might like to spice things up. Try handcuffs, roleplay, you mighr even try masturbating him, or masturbating each other.

Just get some fire back into that oven.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, ashaseth01 India +, writes (8 January 2010):

I agree with caring guy. This is not about you. You are amazing. Talk to your husband and ask him to stop masturbating. tell him its ok if he doesnt climax the first few times. ask him to do it for you. He will. its a matter of just getting unused to masturbating.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (7 January 2010):

First of all, this is him, not you. The more you blame yourself, or the more you get at him because he has to 'finish himself off', the worse this will get. He told you the problem. He's so used to masturbating, he can't do it at other times. So you need to talk with him and tell him that if he stopped masturbating, your sex life would get better. This isn't about you at all, you're doing a great job. It's just he can't keep his hands off himself!

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