A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Why can't my girlfriend come up a level of class but can always drop a level?Last week whilst on holiday at my girlfriend's parents house (in Spain) we met a couple of friends of her parents. Her father used his normal crudeness of introduction. "This is my daughter (name) and her millionare boyfriend (name). He then always goes on to say "what did you first see in the millionare (name)". He then adds "he drives a Ferrari and lives in a mansion". Obviously he thinks its funny but i see it that he is warning people that i am very wealthy and what he believes to be a snob.The lady of the couple we were introduced to was very interesting and was an excellent conversationist on her hobby of astrology and also discussing the astrological side of relationships. Later in the evening i was asked why i chose to live on my own in my mansion whilst my girlfriend was struggling to pay the bills and could barely afford to live. My diplomatic reply was "you will answer your own question later". Within the hour my girlfriend was dancing and singing louder than the music and was shouting how sexy enrique iglesias was and then flashing her boobs off. I tried to keep out the way as people around were laughing but i felt like they were laughing at her rather than with her. A tap on my shoulder turned me to face the lady who had asked why i lived alone. She said "I have the answer" and with a sorrowful and pitying look she walked away. She asked my girlfriend the same question but this time we were together. My girlfriend replied "i do not know. I want to take this relationship further but he doesen't". Then i was looked at for a reply. I knew that both were waiting for a reply and i just simply said "I am a snob". My girlfriend quite calmly said "I cannot change who I am" and delivered a challenging blow to the side of my head, which admittedly i deserved. Nothing followed as the smack had ended all conversation and we both laughed it off. The following day when we were talking about last night we touched the topic of the smack around the head to which my girlfriend said she could not remember it. A few days later we were with 6 people that were talking about the other night and my girlfriend asked if anyone remembered her smacking me. She was told that they remembered her flashing her boobs and the hard smack on the side of my head. Later whilst in bed she appologised for the smack and i told her that her appology was 2 days too late and she had to confirm it with others because she didn't believe me. My thoughts are concentrated on my own questions. After 5 years i still want to live on my own because she cannot come up a level as she cannot change who she is but i constantly see her going down a level.Am i wasting time waiting for her to learn how to behave and conduct herself in public or do i move on without the fear that she will embarrass me further or am i just being a snob?.
View related questions:
boobs, move on, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 You need to take responsibility for YOUR actions here. You've been dating this woman for 5 years. Thats a long time...and certainly enough to know a person really well. This is obviously not the first time that she has behaved like this and ridiculed/humiliated herself in public. You have yourself admitted that, "she cannot come up a level as she cannot change who she is but i constantly see her going down a level."
Why are you with her then? And more importantly, why are you exposing your son to this woman, who you know has a crass, vulgar streak in her? This is more than just about you, your child is getting exposed to this nonsense. Your ex-wife has every right to get mad at you. Stop trying to play the helpless victim. You need to face the consequences of your actions. Step up, apologize and make sure this doesnt ever happen again. What respect will your son have left for you anyway? That should have been your main concern, rather than asking if your breaking up would make you look snobbish.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): Gross. Why didn't u shout at her?! And say that it was bloody inappropriate and ro apologise to ur ex and son.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you again. Your comments seem to lead to the same solution. Although it has now worsened as i have had a call from my exwife, after returning my 15 yr old son to her after he was on holiday with me. My son was at the party and was with my girlfriend when someone mentioned underwear. My girlfriend commented that she wasn't wearing any and decided to lift her skirt up so that people could see. Amongst the people watching was her father and my 15yr old son included. My ex wife is not very impressed with me having subjected our son to witness that sort of behaviour. How the heck do handle the next confrontation with my ex wife?.
...............................
A
male
reader, Neboraic +, writes (5 September 2010):
Opposites only work when you meet in the middle, you both are too far apart and it sounds like a big strain on the relationship. As for the snob question, i would say mostly no. No guy, no matter what level, accepts his girlfriend flashing. Although i do understand your desire for someone who is on your level, it is a desire felt for people at all levels so dont feel bad about it. The key factor that makes a Snobs is feeling better than people of lower classes and being disgusted by them. I do ot get that impression from yo although it is easy to assume someone is snob if you dont get a chance to know them properly.I think you should end the relationship, ths issue has kept the relationship from moving forward for years and if it hasnt changed till now, it wont happen. Plus you didnt mention how strongly you feel for this girl or that you wanted to stay together. This relatonship isnt worth saving, find someon else.
...............................
A
male
reader, ooops  +, writes (5 September 2010):
Hi hi,
her and her family is obviously obsessed with your status & wealth, this is typical with people that are missed on a great opportunity in life earlier, let that be uni, a missing lottery ticket, they missed on some heritage, who knows.
This over-jealousy can also come because they are simply too stupid...
There is no explanation for your GF's behaviour, except public humiliation and that is the single most important thing that a real MAN can't tolerate from anyone.
You're accepting this behaviour for 5 years, now it's time to give up your position in this battle.
You have a lot of money, so it' exceptionally easy to find a more appropriate girl for you. The problem is, that you'll never know if they are after you or your money.
#1 dating advice to millionaires who want a GF who loves them by themselves & not the $$$ - don't show your status first!
Never go to a date on a Ferrari, OMG, hire or buy a mid-class car.
If necessary, go to a place where people don't know you.
Around the 4th date you can come up with what you have, but ALWAYS after sex.
The ultimate solution would be to find a millionaire GF, good luck with that :)
Hope this helps.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your comments. I don't want to hurt her but i think it is time to move on. She also commented on how i do most things on my own and go shopping on my own. My only answer to this is that i am afraid of the public embarrassment. Your comments are valued and i will post again. THANKYOU.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): So, why exactly are you with her? Do you love her? Enough to let her publicly humiliate you? Maybe she isn't the best partner for you. She is obviously not going to change, so if you can't except her for who she is, maybe it is time for you to move on. Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): Well it doesn't shine well that the dad's introducing you like that even in jest it's a bit vulgar, but five years is a long time, maybe ur girlfriend needs to see you raise ur commitment level. Did u actually ever tell her off about the flashing, I would have
...............................
|
