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Why can't my friend be supportive of me as well?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 October 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 October 2009)
A age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My friend always has to have things done her way- she always expects me to drive over, pick her up, and go somewhere. For example, she'll say she wants to go to the mall to get a shirt. She only talks about herself- her problems, her life, and so on. She will ask me how work is going, but she doesn't really listen. She always has to impress everyone around her and I confronted her about this many times- but she just gets all upset and mad at me for calling her out on it. Once we didn't talk for a month, she thought I was mad at her, but it somehow got turned around and I ended up apologizing. She gets everything she wants, only dates hot guys and judges them by their looks only, and she always puts me and my friends down. Once she totally attacked my friend Betty, accusing her of "sleeping around" and never apologized for this. She claims that she thought that Betty thinks she is better than her, which isn't true. My friend then puts me down, making comments about my hair or my clothes, she is super competitive like if I had a bad day she had a worse day, she is a drama queen, she gossips and she lies. A lot. She also brags a lot as well, about anything and everything- new friends, her job, family, dog, etc. I already tried talking to her which didn't work and if I stop being friends with her, she'll just talk about me to our mutual friends. But being around her makes me so frustrated and annoyed- I get home and I'm drained and in a bad mood. Soo... what can I do and why does she act this way? I just don't understand- she is so smart, pretty and talented, yet she acts this way! I always try and compliment her, listen to her, be there for he, but it's never good enough. I know it's her issue and not me, but why can't she be supportive of me as well?

View related questions: puts me down, she lies

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Holy moly responses! Thanks everyone! "Lovingshook"- you're one tough cookie! I like that! I needed a no-nonsense look at everything. I've known my friend for 10 years (since high school) and well, it's time to move on from her, obviously. I always think that if I'm nice, others will be nice as well, but it doesn't always work out that way. Thanks everyone for your advice and words of wisdom!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009):

People like this aren't really worth your time or effort.

I know that sounds pretty harsh, but maybe try to drift away from her a bit and let her see how she cant really live with you, it might make her appreciate your friendship a bit more.

Hope this helps xx

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A female reader, lovingshook United States +, writes (21 October 2009):

"I know it's her issue and not me, but why can't she be supportive of me as well?"

That's an easy question to answer:

Becaue she's a self-centered bitch, that's why.

And look at you, still complimenting her and being sweet while you're describing what a bitch she is. You going for sainthood or something? From what I can tell you're too classy for her. People like that never change either. Hurtful, isn't it?

Imagine how screwed up her poor kids will be, sheesh. Those little boogers won't have a chance.

"I already tried talking to her which didn't work and if I stop being friends with her, she'll just talk about me to our mutual friends."

So what? You think they don't know she's a bitch too?

I just reread your post to be sure I wasn't misspeaking calling her a bitch and all and... Nope, I wasn't. Bragging, lying, being catty, rude, dismissive, judgemental.. Geez, how'd you become this chicks friend in the first place?

Pleaase for your sake, hell, for MY sake, get rid of her ass. She sounds like an energy vampire.

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