A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is 60 and I am 45.He sexually satisfies me and performs very well in the bedroom. We have great chemistry and an incredible sex life.That is why I am baffled when once in awhile he cannot reach orgasm, despite my doing everything I can think of to bring him to orgasm. Everything I have done in the past which has always worked.I take it personally like he is losing interest in me or I did not do something or did not do something good enough. He says it is not me. It is normal. He loves to please me and that is enough.So, why do I take it as a personal failure if he doesn't come? He always has mind blowing orgasms with me.And why does this happen once in awhile?All I want to do is make him happy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2014): Awww, Sarah. Big hugs to you.
You are such a sweet girl!
Beautifully said....
And such amazing wisdom!
You have said exactly what I needed to hear.
THANK YOU so much from the bottom of my heart for reaching out to a perfect stranger and making her feel good again.
God bless you too!
xoxo
A
female
reader, jcsdoe324  +, writes (7 November 2014):
 i'm twenty-two, and my fiance just turned twenty-four. this is a problem that we have experienced from time to time. i'll ride him like a bronco, become the bronco for him to ride, suck him off...if he's good, i'll even let him go in the back door for a little bit (tmi, i know...sorry), he'll take matters into his own hands (if you catch my drift)...and no matter what i do or what he does, he just can't finish.i used to be extremely unsettled by this whenever it happened. i thought it must be because he was suddenly losing interest in me or no longer finding me attractive. but he always assured me that it wasn't my fault, and after confiding in others for advice on the situation, i was reassured of that claim. they pointed out that if he wasn't interested in me and didn't find me attractive, he would more than likely have problems with even reaching an aroused state in the first place. and even more than that, i was reminded that men are just simple human beings...not high-tech machines that work perfectly all the time. they get stressed, they get tired, they don't always feel good...and all of these things can contribute to them not being able to reach orgasm.as long as it's not something that's happening every single time you have sex and he's not having any issues with getting or maintaining an erection, i wouldn't worry too much about it. just keep reminding yourself that you are beautiful, he is head-over-heels in love with you, and it is not your fault in the slightest. if any other issues arise, however, i would suggest that he see his physician to rule out any health issues.good luck, and God bless!sarah
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2014): It's the OP.
Thank you so much WhenCowsAttack!
I feel so much better.
:)
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (6 November 2014):
No, I don't. I think you need to just let it go when it happens. I know from experience that making a big deal about these things can compound his insecurities and make these things worse. It's psychological.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2014): OP again.
I was with him Mon and we had great sex and he had an amazing orgasm. I did not see him Tuesday. And Wednesday he could not climax. So, why does my mind start to wander? Why do I ask myself what he did on Tuesday, the day in between, the day I did not see him, that made him not ready for sex with me on Weds?
Is it possible he was unable to orgasm because he had sex with me on Mon, and then with someone else on Tues and by Weds he was not recovered enough??? Do you think he could have cheated????
Any answers addressing THIS concern would be appreciated. It is bothering me a lot.
I do trust him but as women, sure we all worry sometimes about this stuff.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2014): It's the OP. There is more to our relationship, yes. Absolutely. It is a very good relationship outside the bedroom as well.I told him I feel responsible and that I feel it is my fault and he assured me it isn't. I do know he is right but I still felt a little responsible because I am responsible when he has really good orgasms.I sure hope I did not make him feel bad that I blamed myself. I wasn't trying to make a big deal out of it...I hope I did not make him feel inadequate or anything like that because he is far from it.Do you think I need to apologize or do any damage control for taking it so personally? I guess it was just an instant reaction from me because he has only had this happen once before in our 2 year relationship so it is not something I have been used to. I do not blame him. He is so good to me. He is always very focused on my pleasure. I am very lucky.I hope I did not handle it all wrong. :(So, just let it be or should I apologize?
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A
male
reader, BlowysRCool +, writes (6 November 2014):
 Well, is it about sex, or feeling? You feel bad when he doesn't explode with grunts and moans, but some days men don't want sex as much as you do, but go along because they love you, and want to please (and pleasure) you. Don't take it personally, we all have days like this. It's not that he's losing interest, he just probably doesn't feel up to sex as much as you do one day or another.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (6 November 2014):
Good lord, the poor guy is 60? Cut him a break. These things happen as you age. It isn't your fault, he is just getting older and penises are notorious for not doing what their users want them to as they age a bit. My own husband has this issue sometimes, and he's only 46.
He should see his physician, but this is partially a side effect of growing older. Surely there is much more to your relationship than orgasm.
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