A
female
age
51-59,
*ovingon69
writes:Myself and a work mate developed strong feeling for one another, we didn't act upon them because we are both attached and not cheaters. I left the company about 7 months ago and since then have periodically text him to touch base and see how it's going. About 4 months ago we arranged (at his request) to meet up and catch up over coffee but before we met he changed his mind saying he couldn't cope with the hurt and guilt it would cause as we both knew where it would lead (I thought we were simply meeting for coffee - but ah ho). I've continued to text approx once a month and although he responds positively and gives me the low down on how things are for him (paragraphs on how he's putting far too much time into work etc) he never initiates contact. I did text him to say that if he wanted me to stop he simply needed to say so and I would stop but whenever I ask him directly if he wants me to he ignores the text. I haven't contacted him this month as I'm not sure it's the right thing to do, although it feels almost as if we both need this contact at the same time is it preventing us from moving on. I'm in the middle of separating from my partner and wonder if it would be healthier to cut the ties with my old work mate too. Why am I/we not moving on?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2013): He HAS moved on he did not meet up when you suggested he never initiates text talks. He does not want to cheat on his woman as he loves her, also he does not want to upset you.
You have a divorce to go through and it takes its toll, you need some single time to recover and mend to build a new life.
Cut contact now as there is no future for you and the other man your prolonging the agony
A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (10 May 2013):
Don't do it! You need to move on and find someone for your own. Just give yourself a break. Re group and don't rush into anything new. Take care of your needs first.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (10 May 2013):
 Hi
Yes cut contact. Your going to be free soon,to date whoever you want.
The thought of the attraction you had with this man makes you feel desirable when your going through a marriage break up.
So put him behind you now, he isn't free, nothings changed, but you will be a single woman with a fresh start
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