A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dont know how to get my self out of this situation.I'm not going to drag this out. I was friends with my ex boss and we have been having sex since April. He is married. His wife works away 4 days a week. the sex is amazing and there is no emotional stuff that I feel we are genuinly friends that have sex full stop.But I know half of me KNOWS THIS HAS TO STOP. I am not a shit person and I never wanted to hurt anyone and I don't want this happening to me when I'm in love and married.Everytime I say I'm going to end it I get set in my mind that I won't sleep with him ever again because it's bad and wrong and how shit would I feel if we got caught or she found out? How shit would she feel and how shit a person would I feel?But every time I say never again to myself it ends up happening again. Jesus have I got no self control???help please?What am I supposed to do? Why can't I stop myself even though I'm aware of the consequences?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Dear Poster
You might not going to like what I have to say, but I am not judging you; You are asking for help and I am merely going to try and assist you to the best of my ability.
You know that what you are doing is wrong; you know the consequences; yet, you cannot give up on this man; however, you have no feelings for him, there is no emotions, you are only friends; meaning this is pure physical attraction, it is lust and sex. You feel guilty but the excitement is incredible and worth the risk?
You need to stop this affair immediately; you are not working together any more ( you referred to ex boss); stop all contact; no matter how difficult you have to; you need to take time to take "stock" of your life; what is wrong in your marriage? Do you want to be married or is it better to separate and get a divorce?
If you cannot be loyal and faithful to your husband why stay married?
I suggest you make an URGENT appointment with a counselor and ask them to help you to work through this; there might be some deep rooted reasons for your behavior; maybe you got married to young and need your freedom; BUT you cannot continue like this; you are going to get caught and it will not just hurt you but your husband and his wife are the innocent parties here and they don't deserve the cheating that is going on behind there back. If you have any RESPECT for your husband, refrain from meeting this man again;
If you don't want to be married; you need to be honest with your husband and explain to him that you need your freedom;
if you value your marriage and respect your marriage vows; if you want to save your marriage, go for counseling; get assistance to overcome this problem; the mind is very strong and you can do it,IF YOU WANT.
You need to decide what you want; what is most important to you? The satisfaction of your lust or your marriage?
If there is problems within your marriage you and your husband need to COMMUNICATE; if need be go together for a few sessions of counseling.
But for now, you need to go and see somebody on your own; get help now; don't wait until you get caught.
Value your own self respect and dignity and do what is right.
Decide about your future; if you want to remain married then FOCUS on your marriage;temptations are plenty in life, but it is your responsibility to honour your COMMITMENT.
Stop all contact with this man; turn the "lust" for sex with him towards your husband and save your marriage.
Contact a counselor to help you; I do believe there are some unresolved issues you need to clear.
I will keep you in my thoughts; keep me posted.
Best wishes and hey, keep SMILING.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): hi im the original poster
im not married im single
he is married
but i meant i dont want it to happen to me in the future.
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