A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for nine years and we have a 4yr old together. I do love my partner, but i cant stay faithful. Whenever someone shows interest in me (which is usually his friends) and i feel attracted to them i cant say no. Im good when i am sober, but as soon as i have a drink I cross the line. I always say to myself 'what is wrong with me'. My partner is really good to me and doesnt deserve this. Many times i have given myself a 'talking to' and have been good. Then before i know it im arranging to see someone else. It has to stop!! I dont know what to do. Do I split up with my partner so he can find someone better than me? I just need to know why I cant say no?
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female
reader, oklachick7  +, writes (18 April 2013):
I am a female and i have the same problem, Even when i dont drink. I always ask myself why i am like this.. I am the exact same way you are. Maybe it is a problem with my self esteem. I love men and woman. I just want to experience sex with more then one man or woman. I should just have stayed single.
A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r +, writes (8 May 2007):
firstly if it only happens when your drinking theres a good reason to stop drinking no?
secondly these people cant be called 'friends' if theyre using you, his girlfriend.
normally i come down hard on cheats and liers but theres a child to consider here. you have to change soon or risk loosing everything. start a fresh with your partner and keep away from situations you know youll be in trouble.. and mostly, come clean.. stable relationships cant be built on lies, he may forgive you in the end but he has to know what type of company he keeps
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 May 2007):
 You need to lay off the sauce first thing, my dear. It might just be the alcohol but I fear there is another issue underneath. It might be a number of things, low self-esteem, dissatisfaction with your marriage, etc... I would recommend seeking counseling with a professional to get to the bottom of this problem. In the meantime soft drinks only. Good luck I hope you caught it in time for your husband and daughter's sake as well as your own.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2007): quite frankly, you are not satisfied with yourself and seek approval from other people. unfortunately, you find this satisfaction with other women and are destroying the one person who actually does care about and appreciate you. it seems to me that you are lying to your partner because she would have left you already. so, if you are really ready to be a man and quit this crap you will fess up and hope she doesn't leave you, which she should.
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A
female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (7 May 2007):
 Maybe if you don't drink anymore, you would do better. You said yourself that it's when you get alcohol in you. You obviously can not control yourself when you drink, so just try not drinking and see what happens. Or just don't drink as much...
Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (7 May 2007):
 It sounds like you may have a problem with alcohol. Find an alcoholics anonymous meeting and attend to see if they can help you. It may be that once you learn to control your drinking, you'll be able to remain faithful to your partner. You'll be a better parent to your 4-year-old, too. Good luck.
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