A
female
age
41-50,
*annah82
writes:Ok here goes!!!!Im in a bit of a pickle, I am totally in to my Boss. one of my friends told her that I like her and she is cool with it,and said she already knew. she is also one of my best friends. we spend alot of time together in and out of work and im totally confused about how she feels. I spoke to her about it and she said she is flattered but has never had a relationship with a woman before and dosnt know which she would prefer! She has never actually said that she wants to be anymore than friends, but I get really mixed signals from her. She has started spending a lot more time with me, when we go out she always sits as close to me as possible and leans into me and settles there for the entire evening. She flirts with me sometimes and when were at work I can feel her watching me, I catch her at least 3 or 4 times a day doing this. I cant help but look at her, you know what its like when you look at someone and cant think of anything else other than how stunning they look? when ever she is near me I want to reach out and touch her or hold her hand but i dont want to push her away by doing so. Is this making any sense? I just dont know what to do I think about her all day every day and get sad when I dont get to see her at the weekends. I have to physically stop myself from texting her all the time. When I try and talk to her about it she clams up and changes the subject or answers my questions with her own questions. god I want to kiss her so bad its killing me.How can I find out how she really feels without jeopardising our friendship and working relationship? I cant take this much longer!!!!!!!
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female
reader, hannah82 +, writes (7 May 2007):
hannah82 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi thanks for your comments although I am totally still confused. I should have mentioned that she will only be my boss for another 2 weeks, she has got a promotion and will still be working in the same office and still in my eye line when im working. I have been talking to her all evening and trying to bring the subject up but it makes me feel uncomtable coz i have to face her tomorrow morning, im sure she feels worse than i do!!!! I would love to sit down and talk to her about it properly but i am actually quite shy and find it very hard to talk about how I feel. i am such a wuss!!!!!!
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (7 May 2007):
 She may be finding this quite over whelming herself. You said yourself she has never had a relationship with a woman before, and that is a big choice to make. She needs to be sure in herself that she wants to go down that road before taking it any further.
She seems to like you no doubt and maybe she is flirting with you, but sometimes people flirt in a way even they dont realise. Maybe she needs a bit of time to think about this, its not an easy choice to make, especially if she has lived a life of a heterosexual.
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A
male
reader, maverick +, writes (7 May 2007):
 This is a very complicated situation. Regardless of anything else - from a professional point of view, puirsuing a relataionship with your boss is and will be seen as a conflict of interest and I cannot recommend it. There could be cries of "favouritism" when any arrangements are decided by the boss involving you. This would undermine her credibilty and respect. Even the question of "CoI" has been enough to bring down bosses. There is also the risk that you can victimised by co-workers in having a relationship with the boss. Please be aware of this.
Now to present the other side of the argument. If you do believe that a relationship would work then please think carefully how you would go about it?
Also consider as you say that she has never "been" with a woman before her point of view? Is she just curious? Is she just having flirty fun? Are you just really good buddies? If you would prefer you may wish to set some time aside and both of you talk about this situation. What do you want? What does she want? What do you both feel? How would you reasonabley make a relationship work? Is she uncertain about her sexuality? Is she just experimenting?
I would not recommend a relationship with your boss, but if you feel you both would be able to cope then please talk about it, and definately explain the confusion you are feeling. Hope this helps and please consider things carefully.
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