A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i cant cuddle or kiss my partner when he cuddles me. i keep my arms down when he leans in for a kiss and i turn my head. he has noticed this and i had no idea i was doing this even now when i know i do it, i cant stop it. why is this? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Philips +, writes (8 April 2011):
 You are getting bored. You feel no desire on getting something you already have. Thats your very own problem, not your partner's. The only way to realise how special something is, is to lose it.(In some cases, like yours). Unfortunately.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 April 2011):
 Have you ever cuddled anyone? Is he your first boyfriend? How affectionate are you with your friends?
What I am trying to get at is if this is a problem you have with THIS boyfriend, or a problem you have with all boyfriends you ever had, or a problem you have in general. Some people were brought up in less affectionate homes, and find it very difficult to show affection, and receive affection. This could be a problem grounded in among other things: insecurity, being close to someone makes you feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, you haven't learned how to express yourself and your feelings, negative associations with intimacy (for example if you as a child were forced to hug family members you didn't know or was left alone with strangers, or being forced in other ways to be close to people you were not comfortable being that close to).
My best guess in your case is that you are feeling insecure. You are scared, showing affection leaves you vulnerable and open, if you dare to give in you are scared he will ditch you at your most vulnerable.
Try to put thoughts to your feelings. What do you think will happen if you kiss him back, cuddle him, show him affection? What will happen? What will happen if you let him kiss you, let him show you affection and care? Is it scary to have someone care about you?
Love is a risk. You do put your heart out there, and you have to take chances. If you don't, you wont open up for the possibilities of experiencing great and true love. If you keep walls around your heart you will end up alone, even if you are physically with someone.
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