A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been talking to this guy for a good month now and we were getting pretty flirty and didn't think about the future. He had to move back to his family in another state for work and he told me he couldn't do LDR, even though he likes me a lot, as in his words "I'm falling for you". Between that month of talking he moved back home and we were talking through snapchat. After that his told me he can't do LDR he still treats me the same as he did here, flirty and affectionate, but now I feel like his side chick.He has talked about me going there and I've told him to come here but money is an issue. We both have to wait a few months before we see each other (I have college, he needs to save). He told me he was terrified to see me again because he was going to fall completely for me, and he didn't want to get his heartbroken. Which leaves me in a tricky place; I can compromise but not sure if he could. He lives 9 hours away from me.My heart still has hope; I'm a pretty determined person and does whatever I take to get what I want, but my brain is being very realistic, knows it might not happen. So I don't know if I should keep talking to him or leave him, his going to get hurt by the fact I'll be meeting other guys in my life..
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 March 2017):
 You got over him in four days? Honestly you will get crushes all the time, long distance just wont work in this case.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all of the response! I recently used the "no contact" rule and he seemed concerned after 24 hours ... only because he knows I didn't ask him how his day was etc. Thankfully, have gotten over him now. I've realised he isn't the kind of guy I want, however even thought we established that a LDR wouldn't work for both of us, I want to know where I stand with him now. He still sends me random things, and sometimes sends me hearts and stuff (cute coupley things)... so I get the impression I'm just their to fill his empty void until he finds a girl near him that will like him.
I'm planning on taking a break from talking to him (and telling him before he freaks out). It's nothing personal as I do it to most of my friends anyway.. we all need space
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2017): You are in a non relationship gap and boosting yourself up with a little harmless flirty chatter.
Let me translate what he meant.
He probably already has a girlfriend and his heart would be broken if you went to visit because regular girlfriend would get wind of another female and dump him!
He doesnt want LDR but nightly fun and future plans.
Realistically LDR isnt worth it for either of you unless you like a head in the sands kind of life!
You also have plans so why not leave it at that!
Just because you know how to get what you want , it doesnt mean your life will be a
any better off for it!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (16 March 2017):
 It's too soon to be developing these feelings seriously; it's like puppy love. You have a crush and he probably does too, but it's not practical because he says he can't do long distance and is too far away to meet up even monthly. You need to let go of each other - either by cutting out the flirting or stopping all contact. Flirting will get you hurt.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2017): The heart doesn't look at the practical side of things, and will make you do things that defies logic and common-sense.
He seems to be doing a great-deal of sweet-talking, and that makes him very suspect. Knowing he has no intention of moving or changing his life; and doesn't want an LDR. Yet he keeps encouraging you to believe he's having very strong feelings for you. I'd say this young man is toying with your emotions.
If it's going to be bring you undue financial hardship traveling to be with him; don't do it. There is no established relationship to justify hurting yourself in any way. It's all up in the air! The pieces may scatter when they hit the ground.
He enjoys knowing you're head over-heels, and that boosts his ego. He's got a girl almost ready to do anything for him. Girls like that end-up with the short-end of the stick and a broken-heart. Guys like that never run out sweet-talk aka bullsh*t!
Oh, I'm not one to tell you not to go for what you want; but the warning is about following your heart, when your common-sense tells you otherwise.
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