A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my husband and i have been through so many things and as a result we held on tight even when we probably shouldn't have. Now our marriage is barely hanging on. he is constantly angry, goes out almost every friday and often a night or two during the week and most of the time he stays out all night. my question is not whether i should stay with him or not but more what is it that makes it so hard for me to leave? he doesn't treat me well, does not add income to the household what is the hold he has on me and how do i loosen it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (13 February 2007):
 Hey there,
Are you afriad to be alone? That maybe you won't find someone else? Or that he might change, or that you might decide think it's a big mistake once you leave him?
Those seem like normal fears, but you need to believe that leaving him is the right thing to do. Divorce is a scary thing, and can cause a lot of sadness and guilt and doubt. However, it can give you the freedom and happiness that you could have elsewhere and that you deserve.
You need to believe it's the right thing to do. If you're really having a LOT of trouble, why don't you talk to a therapist? They usually have some exercises that can help you through these things and give you some clarity.
You can be happy and you will be happy if you allow it to happen. I don't think it will happen by staying with your husband.
Good luck, sweetness. Stay strong for us, okay? and for yourself.
xxIndia
A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (13 February 2007):
 You may be having a feeling of what if.
What if you could have done somthing to correct things and he would have changed for the better.
Let me tell you, I think things are to a point where they cannot be salvaged.
You may think subconciously that he can change. He will not.
He has already forgotten your feelings altogether or he would not have you in the position he does.
He is seeking his own self interests or he would at least be trying to balance things out between you.
My advice to you if go find someone who wants to be with you and wants to make you happy. There are lots of guys out there that can and will do that for you.
Best wishes. Doc.
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