A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Going off what people tell me, I am a nice person. I am a genuine, trustworthy and kind. I'm not bitchy and I don't talk about people behind their backs I to am fun to be around. I seem to make people laugh even though I am not funny, I'm just very mad and laugh about really silly stuff. In genural i'm easy to get on with and I get on with anyone who gets on with me.I carn't understand why I don't really have any friends.The few I do have don't seem to really bother with me. If I didn't txt them I wouldn't have anyone in my life other than my family.I'm feeling quite sad and lonely because even though I don't want lot's of friends, a couple of like minded trustworthy friends would nice. I don't really feel like I have that.People seem to just come and go in my life. They tell me I am fun to be around and that I'm a really nice person. They are not often in my life for very long before I don't see them again.I think that maybe I need to look at ways of changeing as a person because a'lot of people have taken the piss out of me and taken advantage frew out my life so I'm geussing that their is something wrong with me as a person.My "bestfriend" dosen't bother with me anymore. I lent her some money for a drink and she didn't have enought so I borrowed her a little more and she didn't give it me all back. I fell of her sofa wen we were drunk and she basikly took the piss out of me and said to her boyfriend look at her, she's pathetic.Any helpful advice would be much appreciated
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou everyone for you really good answers. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, I have very recently had a house move so been very busy.
Feeling a'lot better now. Well I got back in touch with some old friends but now i'm at the point were I don't care anymore. I will meet new people in the future but I will make sure they are on my wave length.
Thankyou
A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (9 October 2010):
 From the sounds of things, you're "bestfriend" is not even a friend, she's taking advantage of you because you are good, kind person.
Never think that there is something "wrong" with you. You are a unique, wonderful person in your own right. From what you say, you sound like a lovely, fun, kind person and you'd be a wonderful friend for anyone.
I think you need to be more careful who you choose to be your friends. A lot of people are very selfish and only use people for what they can get out of them or to make themselves feel better about themselves. Whereas you sound like a genuine, nice person who puts others needs before your own. There is nothing "wrong" with that, but sometimes it can be hard to get what you want and need out of life, when you out others before yourself. Plus people will take advantage, if they can get away with it. Don't let them. People who take advantage are not worth bothering with.
You say people wouldn't bother with you, if you didn't text them. Think of it this way, if you didn't text them, wouldn't they think that maybe you wouldn't bother with them, if they didn't make the effort? Friendship works both ways. You have to make the effort to get out there and keep friendships going. You get out of everything in life, what you put in.
Try going to more social events, and plan more for other people to go to. Ring or email and old friend, someone who you wish you'd kept in touch with, but time just got in the way. Invite people to an event you would like to go to, ie the theatre, a concert, a film, a sports event, an evening class, anything.
Its a sad truth, of you sit and wait for people to come to you, they won't. They will be waiting for you to come to them. If you make the first move, people will invite you to things more often. The more you get in touch with people, the more will be in touch with you. But only allow good people into your life, like yourself. Don't allow people to take advantage of you, no matter who they are, or how lonely you feel.
Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Wolfy +, writes (9 October 2010):
 It sounds to me as though these people that come and go in your life do not deserve the privilege of having you as a friend. I don't believe there is anything wrong with you as a person, you sound an awful lot like myself. A nice, genuine, kind hearted, fun and friendly individual and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being that way. If you ever feel as though it's something you're doing that seems to drive people away from you, stop. It is not you, it is the people who chose to dump a friend such as yourself, often because they like to use you for money and such. I've had many people come into my life and then it's almost as though they suddenly disappear off the face of the earth.
I can't understand the exact reason why our so called 'friends' would treat us like that, with us being such nice and caring people. I just like to tell myself it's not me and whatever problem they have, they deal with in the worst way possible, by losing a good friend. Hopefully you'll come across some people exactly like yourself and they will be around forever :) Trust me, my closest friends consist of only two people...so don't worry too much! All the best x
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A
female
reader, RennieGeek  +, writes (9 October 2010):
There is nothing wrong with you, so please don't change how you treat people! The problem here, is that because you are so nice, there are people that are users that find and latch onto you.
My suggestion in finding real friends, and was something I had to do myself, is step out of your box a bit and befriend people you normally wouldn't for whatever reason. I may only have a few true friends, but I'd take them over a bunch of lousy ones any day! Keep your head up! :)
I hope this helped.
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