A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay to me this makes no sense. Like im sure there is a good reason but im not getting it and it bothers me.Theres this guy that I worked with and we kind of hit it off had been working together for 3 months or so only talked at work then he got fired. We started texting after that, and talked everday for about 2 months, and me knowing that he isint the kind of person to text often since we used to talk about texting at work.We flirted pretty bad but it was just friendly, there was a couple of time, like 5 i would say, that he had told me he wanted to be friends with benefits kind of thing because he thought dating at our age was dumb. And he knew i didnt feel the same, i didnt do anything with him because at that time i was getting over someone else too. He would always blame his friends with benefit talk on being drunk. So we talked almost everyday and he had told me he loved talking to me and everything.Randomly one friday night out of the blue he just texted me and said that he couldnt talk to me anymore, and i had asked why and said he should at least give me a good reason and he said he cant. and i said okay whatever you should give me a reason because we are only friends and it doesnt add up, and he said im sorry i just cant talk to you anymore, really sorry and i really dont want you to be mad at me or have hard feelings.But the thing is, i know hes not mad at me about something because when we fight he says something like have a good life bye, and then 2 days later texts me and says sorry. I know he doesnt have a girl friend so i dont know why he would be so stupid about it, and he doesnt want me out of his life because he knows that just ignoring me would have worked.Why would you guys think that someone would just say they cant talk to a girl anymore? Esp. because we were only supposed to be just friends.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, my friend actually got an answer out of him as to of what part of the reason was. He had said that he got super excited to talk to me and loved texting me but his friends where starting stupid rumors about us and bothering him everynight about it or something. I know his friends hate the idea of girl friends because they take away from "guy time" and they where mad because he wasnt being himself at the bar and he was just always texting me. I just dont get why he thinks that cutting me out of his life by ignoring me would do him any good. And I really miss talking to him, and im basicly set with the two options, give him time wait untill I run into him somewhere and talk to him or see if he comes back to me, orrr try and talk to him and fight for him. It seems that whenever I give the guy space is when they find someone else.
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (29 March 2011):
 He doesn't want to admit he developed feelings for you. As much as a guy saying they don't want a relationship, they do want one, they do want to feel a woman's love. To not develop feelings, a person has to have one night stands and say bye have a good life to every partner he sees. What could be a dumber lifestyle than that? I think you are attracted to him because he's slightly out of reach. I would think twice about a guy who had been fired after 3 months, whatever the reason is. And also regularly getting drunk and saying things he doesn't really mean. What does that say about his emotional state? The answer for you is that he is not ready for a relationship. Someone else would be giving you what you really need, but not him. What do you expect him to say in your face, that he can't talk to you because he's feeling like a loser, he doesn't have the tools to make you happy?Try not to think that it's your problem to keep his interest. It's his insecurity okay?
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (29 March 2011):
 hi the only person who can really tell you this is him. as he thinks that 'dating is dumb' then yes, you're right he probably doesn't have a girlfriend but maybe has managed to find a friend with benefits and so he doesn't need to pursue this line with you any more. if he is so childish that he can just cut off a friend and then refuse to give a reason then you are better without him in your life anyway. it seems like he is playing head-games with youxx
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy  +, writes (29 March 2011):
 I have a guy friend who does this. I believe it's because they know we want different things than they do. He likes you, but doesn't want a realtionship with anyone, and is only in it for sexual things. He respects you enough to not want to use you like that, so, to remove his temptation, he's decided he won't talk to you any more. I'm not exactly sure how these guys get this all to add up in their heads, but it's generally not something that they can be talked out of. The best thing is to just move one, with this type of person.
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