A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for a while now and it has been like a fairy tale, everything has been great. And for the first time I am in love, and I know she loves me. The problem is my mind won't let me accept this. I feel like because I am not always gushing and walking on roses, my mind tries to tell me I'm not really in love. I know this isn't true because the idea of not having her will make me almost depressed and to tears. So I know my feelings are real, but it is like I said my mind won't rest until I am worrying about something in the relationship. It hasn't always been about if I am in love or not, but this is the new one. Its like once I prove a former worry to be wrong, my mind makes a new one. I had a mentally hard past with some family issues growing up, and have always kind of had a low self esteem. My logical side tells me you can't always be gushing, and there might even be times where it can get boring, but my brain tries to make everything into a big issue. Why can't i just enjoy my happiness with her? If anyone has had these same problems, or has words of advice please share. thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): Believe me when you are in love with someone you know it and nothing can convince you otherwise. People with low self esteem fall in love all the time. The fact that you have to think about whether or not you are in love with her, the fact that you have to try and convince yourself that you love her is a clear indication that you are not. You may love certain things about her, but that's a far cry from being in love. Being in love has been equated to being insane. If you find it hard to enjoy your life with her, there is a big problem.
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