A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't really know whats going on or why I feel like this so I'll try to explain it and see if anyone can give me advice.Well I've had a few boyfriends in the past and all of them I have stayed mates with but I'll tell you about the main 2 (which are my ex's)Boyfriend Number One was my first ever boyfriend. He was so sweet and took care of me. We saw each other every day and was together for over a year. We broke up and then got back together for 8 months then split up again. We've stayed close since and he says I'm like his little sister because he's always there to protect me and if I'm ever in trouble or anything cracks off he'll sort them out. He is like my big brother now and he's had a really tough time with everything in his life so its nice for us to be able to talk.Boyfriend number 2 was pretty much like number one but we aren't as close. He's there if I need anyone to talk to and he knows I'm there if he needs someone. We used to meet up for a few drinks but don't anymore. When we split up it was because we was both drunk and had a stupid argument. The next day he asked me back but I said no but still met him like we was going out but that stopped and he moved on. It was like it wasn't a proper end to the relationship. My current boyfriend is amazing. He's just perfect to be honest but there's just one problem he hates me talking to my ex's. I know that it may seem weird that I want to talk to them but they're my mates and since I've left school they are the main ones I talk to. Well they was until my boyfriend asked me to stop speaking to them. It's not like I flirt with them it's just general chat like what mates do. They tell me about their girl troubles and I tell them about stupid stuff which they don't care about but we have a laugh. I don't ditch my boyfriend to see my mates. If my boyfriend wants to see me I'm always there and would never not see him to spend time with them (unless it was something serious then I would try and explain to my boyfriend and ask him to come along if he wanted to). I know this may seem weird but it irritates me when I see my ex's with other girls. I have no feelings like that for them like what you would for your boyfriend but I dunno why I feel like this.I also have another best friend (which is a lad) and we've been mates for years. He tells me EVERYTHING and I do the same. My mate used to like him and asked me to try and set them up so I spoke to him and he said he didn't like her which put me in a awkward situation because I was mates with them both but she understood however now he likes her. I don't have a problem becuase I have a boyfriend but I can't help but think I'm going to lose him as a best mate. Here are my questions.1. Why do I feel like this towards my ex's when they are with other girls?2. Is it normal to be mates with your ex's?3. Is it right for my boyfried to want me to stop talking to them?4. Am I right to worry about losing my best mate to my mate?5. Will I lose my best mate to my mate?Sorry it's long x
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, drunk, flirt, got back together, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): 1. I think it's normal, I mean, it's always weird seeing an ex move on. It's not jealousy and it doesn't mean you want them back suddenly, it's just normal, I've heard a lot of people feel the same.
2. Yes, it is. Maybe not so common, but normal, many people manage to have healthy friendships with their ex's which causes no problems for them nor their partners.
3. Hmm, I don't know. I'm torn here. On the one hand, I can understand his feelings, he may need a bit more of reassurance. But I had a REALLY ugly experience with a guy who didn't like me talking to my "sort of" ex (he wasn't even a proper ex!), and he turned out to be a REALLY controlling guy. He was really perfect, or so it seemed, except that he was controlling and that's why we broke up. I'm not saying your guy will be the same, just that you keep an eye on his behaviors.
4 & 5. I guess it's normal I mean, if they hook up they'll be together most of the time and you'll see less of both of them. I mean, you don't like your best mate, do you? If you don't it's probably just the fear of seeing him less and spending less time with him. I don't think you'll lose him, if he's with your friend, then all of you will be able to hang out, with no problems whatsoever!
|
