A
male
age
30-35,
*ergiepunk
writes:It's hard for me to express this accurately but I might as well try. Now you see my love life leaves something to be desired so to speak. I've been single for multiple years now and when I look back at previous relationships the truth is calling them relationships is stretching it. Now I get this is a common point the guy complaining that he has no chance with women. However it is very much so the case.Now I'm not an incredibly shy guy. Do I have self doubts? Of course like every other human being out there but it's not something I try to display in public.When I try to do anything with women it just doesn't work. If I am say at a club and I try to talk to a girl I will pretty much always get them turning away from me and if I do create a conversation it's short lived as usually some drunken tool comes along, grabs them and begins "eating their face" so to speak.If I talk with a girl say online I either get completely ignored or the conversation will go for a little while then suddenly just stop with no apparent reason being shown.Now I try to come across as humorous within my conversations (this doesn't count!) and apparently it shows but in my life I've been regarded as "That funny sweet guy who I want as my friend." I almost feel like taking "sweet" and "nice" as insults based on how often I've heard those words in the form of a speech given by some girl I knew who I thought had mutual feelings for me.I of course ask my friends and hear the usual lines. Things such as "their loss" and "it's not your fault." And such. But based on the sheer number of times I've tried it would be foolish to conclude that it isn't something with me.I try presenting the case that it is possibly my visual appearance yet all I hear from female friends is "No you're really cute." Which I ignore but then I attempted putting a photo on that "HotOrNot" website and got a 9.9 (I don't take this as a good thing, I take this as the world messing with me quite a bit). So my result is more confusion. />To conclude my little rant; what in the world am I doing so wrong?
View related questions:
drunk, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2011): Hi there,
Have you ever tried a dating site? These days everyone is doing them and its a great way to get your message out there, to say who you are and what you are looking for. To share you hobbies, dreams and wants out of life. By showing who you are, what you look like and what your looking for, gives a girl a chance to say: hey I like this guy. At least if someone approaches you from your profile, you know they like the sound of you. I know some people poo poo dating sites but thats how I met my partner. What have you got to loose. There are many other ways to meet girls, just step out, go somewhere different,have new experiences....even if you dont meet someone you will have had a great time anyway. There is someone out there....its just you have to be patient :)
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 August 2011):
 It's impossible to say without asking you to try it on me. Try your moves and I'll let you know if I can identify the problem. Now this might not be a normal answer, but it's the only way to know. If you don't mind a little role play. Lets say you meet me somewhere, I think you're cute (based on the references you have I can believe this to be true), and you think I'm cute.
First step: eye contact. Do you look into my eyes? Do you approach women who you have eye contact with and who, most importantly, smiles at you? If she looks, and smiles, you're welcome to chat.
Next step: we start talking. It's small talk, but here's what Im interested in hearing: what do you do for a living? Where do you live (own your own place, rent, still at home with mom?). What are your interests, do we have any in common? Are you funny, are you smart?
And, are you genuinely interested in ME or in my BODY? If you're into me as a person you want to get to know me, so do you ask questions? What questions? What things do YOU want to know about a prospective partner? Are you looking for a girlfriend, for a wife, or a f%ck buddy? What are your deal breakers, what are your preferences, and what questions do you ask to get to know this bit of information?
How do you act, move, facial expressions?
Anything else you think might be of significance to mention, please tell me.
...............................
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (21 August 2011):
 Well you definitely need to change your overall image both physical and mental. There are so many pointers I would like to give you- but I may be writing until tomorrow. :^) So I'll be very brief.1. Change your thoughts. You have to start thinking positive- and also realize it's a numbers game. Not all girls are going to put you in the friend zone IF you know how to avoid being there in the first place. And don't place too much on being rejected, things not going right with one particular girl, etc. You have to continue looking, refining your approach, and get comfortable outside your norm. 2. Change your look. Get the help from a female friend (one who particularly has a good for eye for fashion), a stylist, a clothes store worker, etc. Ask them to help you choose clothes that girls find sexy. 3. Change your style and conversations. As a former mentor of mines once said..."think James Bond". Flirt just for the sake of flirting without placing too much stock on the outcome. Just have fun. Get comfortable complimenting/showing flattery, showing chilvary, etc. Start learning how to read body language- and how to respond accordingly. If you follow just these three tips you should have a better chance at meeting more women and getting out of the friend zone. Hope this helps!
...............................
|
