A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 27, I have never had a boyfriend. I have never kissed a guy, much less had sex. I am fat and ugly, I know that. I am shy but really sweet. I have seen so many fat/ugly chicks with hot guys....I am just wondering, why I can't get a bf. I want a boyfriend, I feel I am getting older and not going anywhere in the relationship department here. I am not even that picky, I like skinny, fat, anything guys. So, why is this happening to me. I feel depressed, I feel like I will end up alone and I will never experience having a bf. I have been in love before, but wasn't mutual... figures.
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depressed, never had a boyfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, keepmovingforward +, writes (11 May 2009):
ok- ladies we all all have our bad days. we all deserve a make over- and I would agree with the other posters that encourage you to build up your confidence. Remember that if a guy isn't giving you clear, and I mean crystal clear, signals that he's into you- move along. Don't waste the pretty, even if you don't feel so pretty right now. Desperate is not the new pink.
Yes- get active- it'll get you out of the house, help release seratonin, and boost your self esteem.
Remember that story where the little girl went out into the field searching high and low for ladybugs and found none. She fell asleep after giving up and woke up covered in lady bugs.
So my last bit of advice is build your confidence and social skills so when somebody does show an interest you don't analyze it to death or get over nervous. -keep moving forward.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009): im really sorry you feel that way. im pretty sure every girl thats human feels insecure about themselves, but you don't have to classify yourself as "fat" or "ugly". and you didn't do anything wrong, all you did was build up a few pounds, but im so sure you can lose it if you start simple exercise. try walking an hour (maybe even half an hour) everyday. maybe bring some healthy snacks with you! and you dont have to do it alone, start eating right and exercising with a friend that is supportive wherever you go. :) appreciate all your best qualities, maybe wear some makeup that highlights the important features of your face like your eyes for example. Dont feel depressed because once in a while every woman goes through this, all you need is some higher confidence and maybe a new image! go to the mall with your best friends and start shopping for some nice clothes that compliment your shape and maybe get a new hairstyle that also compliments your facial structure. trust me, you are not alone! and you will find that special someone, no matter what you look like. just have high hopes and dont worry! :) i really hope this helps, good luck! :]
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A
female
reader, FashionistaBaybee +, writes (27 December 2008):
did yu see wat yu juss called yurself? fat & uqly? that shows that yu dnt think very hiqhly of yurself & that's not attractive to quys. yu needa learn to feel qood about yurself & accept who yu are. yur not qettn quys because yu dnt have enuff confidence. if there is somethinq yu dnt like about yurself then chanqe it. lode weiqht- die yur hair- cut it- buy new clothes that make yu feel sexy- wateverr. but yu needa show quys that yu love yurself so they can love yu too.
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (27 December 2008):
it's probably due to the fact you have a low confidence. guys like girls to have confidence. if you see yourself as ugly and fat then you will walk around looking depressed. if you learn to love yourself then it will show. you just need more confidence.
maybe go to a speed dating event, that way you get to go on lots of dates with different guys, also it is a fun night out with the girls. cause even if mr right is not there,it's still good fun and you will get confidence. plus you can be whoever you want to be.
make yourself feel good, then he will come. also i say don't look for him, because he will find you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): oh come on, surely your not that bad?? anyway relationships are supposed to be about character not looks...
if you're not comfortable with the way you look why not have a make over? ask your friends to go shoppig with you and tell what looks good on you. have a change of hairstyle, if you go to the hairdressers im sure they can recomand a style thats perfect for you.
and how about changing your current diet? if your eating a lot of fatty foods cut down on them and replace them with something healthier and you could do some exercises at home which will help you tone up as well as make you feel good about yourself.
as for being shy, join a club, maybe a gym or anything else you enjoy doing, it'll boost up your confidence and its a great way to meet new people.
hope this helps, feel free to message me if you want to talk.
good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): i am 27 years old as well i never had a boyfriend no matter how hard i try i get rejected to all the time.i had every hard up bring.no friends,no job,no social life,no traveling.i am also fat and ugly and short and i had rough i know exactly how you feel. i am wondering my self that I'll end up alone too,i think more likely i will, guys hate me because i am not miss world, all the guys i like always like some one else and never get rejected but i do always get rejected by the same guy ,who doesn't get rejected by some one else. its nice to know i am not the only girl with problem i can't get a boyfriend either may be i wasn't meant to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): first of all...you need confidence! don't tell yourself that you are ugly or fat! even if you are...feel confident that you have great qualities and features and you can treat a man right! i have a sister who is model-drop-dead gorgeous! and i am short and fat! i even have a busted tooth in the front and i still have a boyfriend of 2 years and i still get hit on by other men and women! ok...so here is my two advice...1.)read self help books and go shopping and find well fitted clothes that makes you feel sexy (but NOT trashy) 2.)take little step and go to a nightclub and mingle, or ask your friends to set you up, or even at the mall-you might get hit on. go to like social gatherings or make a online dating site...it will boost your confidence and then you will figure out what you want. but at the same time...be careful...there are men who has a user mentality and they will hurt you (physically or emotionally) i wish you lived out here in MN...i would love to hook you up and we would have fun...but oh well...good luck
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