A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why can't I fully get over my ex? I personally feel deep inside that she is the one, or at least who she was to me was the one. Like for me the way my ex is now, drinking, partying and even doing other stuff has really turned me off from her. But if I take who she was and at least who I thought she was she is what I want to be with. It has been over a year now and well I expected to be at least less worried about her, and care less of what she is doing. Overall I worry about her because she drinks her problems away, she admits she has a problem, but I don't know how that is going. Everybody I talk to tells me either "You gota do something about it" or "Your her ex boy friend, let it be its not your problem". She wants to be friends as well, I guess I am scared to make the wrong choice with her or to come across as a jerk telling her that I think she is making the wrong choice. She has a boy friend right now, which is why I am not doing much. What should I do?
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male
reader, als77  +, writes (7 January 2011):
If she wants to have you as a friend, then I think you have the right (or even duty!) to adress the issue if you think she has a drinking problem. That's what friends do! However, doing so, you should be careful and behave as a friend (since she has a boyfriend), and also be aware that her current boyfriend may be uncomfortable with it since you're her ex.
Love is a strange thing, making us care about people long after that we want to... My ex were my "soulmate" for the person I were back then, but even though I have changed so much that we would have been a terrible match today I still care about her (even though we had a terrible break-up, without me having any closure, and no contact with here watsoever for several years...)
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 I don't mean to sound hard, but the new boyfriend should be overseeing this now. They may think you are interfering if you say anything about her behaviour. It's probably the age thing as well, the drinking, partying etc. Maybe she has gone off the rails a bit, letting her hair down after getting over a relationship with you. She may feel a new sense of freedom. You don't like it but you won't be able to sort her out either. I should just leave her alone.
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