A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 years old and I've never had a boyfriend. There weren't many guys I was interested in in my high school, and the ones I did like didn't seem to like me back. And outside of school I guess I just never really did anything that involved people besides the ones in my high school.My first semester of college I hooked up with a couple guys, but that was all anyone there was interested in. (And no, I'm not easy, I was just very drunk at the time.)Anyway, I'm taking a break from college for now. And that makes it even harder to meet anyone. I go to events and concerts and talk to guys, but it never goes beyond that because I won't see them again. And I swear that every guy I meet either has a girlfriend or is gay, or the rare ones that hit on me aren't my type.I'm so frustrated. I'm not beautiful, but I'm not ugly either, just average. I'm smart and creative and can be funny but I have really low self esteem. I never make the first move... I just can't make myself do it. I always wait for guys to, I'm not confident enough. I just want a boyfriend and a real relationship so badly. I'm scared I'll be alone forever. Every girl my age I meet has or has had a boyfriend...
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2013): Hey you are a young women and just coming into age really. You know your not perfect and nobody ever is. It is being called human. I understand your fears and frustrations of being alone for ever. Me being a man and if I was not in a relationship would be looking for a women who is confident in her own skin and not a push over. One who accepts who she is and looks after herself. I would also look at a women who has enough spunk to say no way Charlie I am not going near your apartment or car if you get the drift? I hope anyways. I personally know at least ten of my close friends who would jump at meeting a lady as yourself. They want a committed relationship. They want somebody who is kind and thoughtful as yourself. They don't just want to get in your pants and forget you in a couple hours. But you have to build yourself image up. Stop beating yourself up and start working at making you yourself happy inside. Don't get drunk and let those bastards rape and abuse you. The past does not have to equal the future. Change it. No more excuses I cant do this I cant do that. Yes you can. There are all kind of help books out there if you are lost a need a boost to get you going. If you need help there are all kinds of community support systems out there. See you doctor or call the 1-800- help numbers. They can direct you and in lots of cases qualified people support workers. Work on your appearance and practice in a mirror if necessary. Don't be afraid to show some of your pearly white teeth. Make eye contact with a potential man if he appears to be interested. Don't be afraid to say hello if it appears he is interested in. Don't be afraid to tell the man also if he is just looking for a quickie to f off in a loud but un intrusive manner. Potential suitors will be listening the moment they hear this it will drive the predators away and just maybe the good guys standing in the wings will approach you. Don't be afraid to put yourself out in the community and join one of the thousands of volunteer organizations out there. Pick one you will enjoy to do. This will help take the focus of yourself and put you in the public eye in a different image. Be honest but not to the point where you spill all the beans. Remember never be afraid to tell people that you really want to give back to the community. Again this setting gives you a excellent opportunity to practice your approach and communication skills with other women and men. Try some of my suggestions and I am sure you will soon reap the benefits of what you sow. Good-luck.xoxoxo
A
female
reader, jenn_jenn  +, writes (8 May 2013):
You're 19! Still so young and plenty of time! Don't stress about it.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (7 May 2013):
You pretty much outlined all of your issues, so why don't you go about fixing them?
Meet more people, ask guys out, work on your self esteem, don't sleep with guys too soon, etc.
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