A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This guy I've been seriously dating for the past 2 months suddenly stopped responding to my texts. Before I start ranting about my situation, let me preface this with his history of relationships. He just recently got out of a long term relationship of several years and it didn't end well (infidelity on his ex's part). So, I can understand I was taking a risk going out with someone who may be using me as a rebound girl. Even when he told me about how they broke up he would end up getting all teary eyed, which gave me the first inclinations that maybe he's not emotionally available. Since we've been dating, everyday he texts and comes over nearly every chance he gets. Even my friends were telling me how much he is "into me." I mean, I even started falling head over heels for him because I felt so loved and beautiful in our blooming relationship. Fast forward to this past week, I tell him that I may be moving far away under the circumstances with education and work (I wish I could stay if granted the chance). But, I was being honest and told him we may not see each other for a while (a few months to a year). Well, recently, I'll text him and he won't respond for a good 5 hrs -12 hrs. This really annoyed me because I would start questioning what i did wrong or what could possibly be interfering with his phone. Then, I wondered maybe he's just not into me?! I haven't seen him everyday like were doing.. sometimes 3 times a day. He'd just frolic back to my place asap. Now, I ask to see him and he always says he's "busy" with school or work. I only get to see him when it's convenient for him. On top of that, he calls me when he's drunk to go out to eat or "visit" (just crashes on my bed). This annoys me too in that I don't want to be his mother!!! So, all in all, I am very disappointed in the turn of the relationship. There are several red flags that this won't work and the biggest one just happened recently that completely confirms that he's a loser (he's definitely ignoring me). I think the reason I'm still clinging on is that I have this idea that he will become the guy I met and fell for (I felt beautiful and wanted). Now, I'm on here because I would like some input on how to handle the situation. I know he's not good for me. But I can't help but think of the repercussions. He just finished healing from his latest break up and now he's about to lose a girl he really fell for. Is he just withdrawing as a way of self preservation? I don't want to hurt him. But I need to have some closure before we finally split. Thanks for any input or comments.
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female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (8 May 2013):
You're moving away so it's safe to say he's probably not taken it well hence is bad behaviour, no txts etc you seem to know what you want in a relationship and see this guy for what he is. But you conflict the positives with hopes of a happy ending with him. You're moving away which is great because it'll make getting over him easy. In terms of closure...with the way he's behaving, it's unlikely you'll get it. Cut your losses, look to the future and count this as a lesson learned. There will be more relationships for you so my advice is to take away what you can in terms of experience from this one, into the next.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2013): Well, hmmm let me see, yep I think most definitely he is withdrawing. I mean everything was alright up until the point you told him you were having to move away yes? In that case, he feels he cannot sustain this relationship at a distance and by ignoring you and avoiding you he is gently letting you down, and protecting himself too. He cant see this working and to be honest would you really want a long distance relationship with someone you ave only known two months? Sounds like he has made up his mind and the kindest thing to do all round is to finish this relationship to be honest. It cant work.
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