A
male
age
51-59,
*amdaman
writes:my wife recently got drunk at a party we went to and let another man touch her boobs and take them out of her bra. all this things she has never allowed me to do even when she has got drunk when she is just with me. the lust which i could see in her eyes on that day from the vedio i took of the party for the other man she has never had that for me do you think she loves me not or she loves me but doesnt find me sexy enough? the other thing is she has done lot of mischeif before marriage giving blow jobs in a bar and park things like that but she doesnt say to me openly as it turns me on sometimes.though it took her a long time to give me a blow job after marriaage. the first night we slept togather she didnt bleed as well so does it mean she had slept with someone before as i was very naive when i got married and she showed me a tiny speck of blood on the tissue which i didnt even take notice of it at that time? i love her immensley no matter what she has done as i would love her to go out and enjoy herself with other man if she feels like that she knows that as well but she is not a very good communicator wth me though she can talk and flirt with any other manother girls find me very sexy and talk with me openly about everything and anything and even about their preganncy as wellis there love in my relationship with my wife or is she off me completly as i have tried talking to her as well but she can never even muster courage to say I lOve you to me!i give her so much connfidence and support all the time. i am very romantic but she is zero with me
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blow-job, boobs, drunk, flirt, I love you Reply to this Question
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male
reader, samdaman +, writes (25 June 2009):
samdaman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i have the confidence in myself and other women talk with me and flirt as well. women who wouldnt even dream of another man woudl confide in me and she knows that as sopme of her friends have told her that our hubby is so nice charming if she hadnt captured me they would have had me any time.i have taken her out for walk along the embankment several times to improve but things which i have tried it has alwya gone sour and felt rejected. though sex in the bedroom is fine she will enjoy its only outside she doesnt let me do things like holding hands and wandering ones is a strict no nothank you for your anwsers i think ill give it one last push then see if she improves or not as just had a chat with her as well and explained how i feel we have been married 18 years and i dont want to throw it away.
A
female
reader, Chippy2  +, writes (25 June 2009):
I think it is you that has no confidence! How did you two meet? Why did it take so long for her to give you a blow job as a wife when she did it for men in bars?
Something is missing. Did you ever have a great sex life? or has she always been this way with you?
Take her away for the day - take a walk or go somewhere away from the house that just the two of you can talk. Tell her you would like to experience that lust with you. AND be CONFIDENT in showing it back!
Maybe she thinks you dont appreciate it. The guy at the party was sure of himself - I think you need to work on that and any sexual attention your wife sends your way you need to be aware of.
Make it a point to practice touching - not for sex just to touch if you dont already.
The more comfy you are with each others bodies and the more willing to explore the better you can experience things.
If she is not willing then i would say it is time to suggest counseling.
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): To be honest, I think she is bored with you. You sound like you have the " nice guy" syndrome. Women won't admit it, but they like a man to act like a man. If you fall at their feet 24/7 they get bored really quick. I suggest you step out of your normal routine. If your biggest problem is her sexual curiosity I strongly recommend they you make it clear to her that it's a two way street. Even if you don't want another woman, don't tell her that! Make her sweat it out for awhile just like you are. Maybe she won't like it when the shoe is on the other foot.
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A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (25 June 2009):
I agree with Samii. I can tell you love your wife and want her to be happy. But it's not fair to give her happiness at your expense. If she's not a great communicator, well that's ok. Many people aren't. But the two of you need to talk NOW because this will only get worse for you. best of luck
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A
male
reader, samdaman +, writes (25 June 2009):
samdaman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i think she would flirt only when she is drunk thoguh she flirts at work with other man but then that i havent noticed and she hasnt said much aprat from that she flirts at work with certain man.dont get me wrong i love it when she flirts i have a very open mind as i flirt a lot as well but i never drink and i know my limits to flirting as i would neer sleep with anyone no matter how much the girl pushes. though if she sleeps with anyone i have told her i dont mind either.the thing is she never talks about anything and that is what bugs me more. plus not being romantic as i always thought girls were very romantic. i cannot shout at a woman no matter who they are i respect women and try reasoning with them if it was a man then yes i can be firm and make him do what i wnat him to do but you might be right ill try being firm but its going to be hard specialy when you love someone.thank you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): If you are okay with what is going on, and with what your wife is doing, then that is fine.
But the fact that you are on her asking for help suggests to me that, deep down, you are not happy and comfortable with the situation. It must hurt when you see her behaving in certain ways with men, but not with you.
You say that it is because she doesn't have much confidence, and finds it hard to say how she feels about you. That may be the case, but it still doesn't mean that she can bahave in any way she wants with other men, especially as it is hurting you.
It sounds like you are a very patient and tolerant person. Those are great qualities to have, but sometimes you need to be firm too, otherwise those qualities can be taken for granted, and people can take advantage of your nature and walk all over you.
I think maybe a change is in order. Maybe you could try being a bit more firm with her. Have you told her how this is making you feel? Would you feel able to ask her to stop giving attention to other men, and start paying you more attention? Maybe if she saw that you are serious about this, it might surprise her and encourage her to make some changes. If not, then it depends on whether you can tolerate the situation as it is or not. However, I know this must be extremely difficult for you, as there are children involved, and regardless of everything, you love your wife very much.
I hope you are able to find a way forward through this. Good luck. x
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A
male
reader, samdaman +, writes (25 June 2009):
samdaman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you
I cant leave her as i love my kids and her as well. without whom i would be totally lost.
deep down i think she must have some feeling for me but its very hard for her to come out with it. even when she let this young man touch her boobs if i walked into the kitchen where they were she would stand up straight away. she says she doesnt rememeber anything and she even doesnt want to watch the video which one of my son had switched on and left it running. i wouldnt have known either till i downloaded the whole thing onto my computer and saw what was happening. i am happy with what happeend as she got some enjoyment out of it butthen why cant i get the same thing back from her if she is ready to give to someone lese then i am her husband
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