A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i dated this girl for about four years, and as with any relationship we had our ups and downs. this girl ment the world to me i was a very boring person untill i met this girl, she took me out of the country on vacation for my first time ever and she would set things up that iv never done before, ie live concerts and travaling up to the city to see a yankees game live... things i probally wouldnt have done on my own at this point in life... however she and i just got back from our second trip out of the country and things seemed to be goin ok between us untill her college classes started up again. then one day i get a text message while i was at work were she said that she was at her "breaking point school is too much", in response to that i told her i understand and i told her id b ok if she wanted to take a break and get her head back into studying. i then proceded to turn my phone off so that i wouldnt get into trouble at work texting away with her all day. at the end of the day i turned my phone back on and there were to text, one was in response to my text about a break and the other was a few hours later that said that she thought about it and decided it was over for good. i was crushed, i still am, we did a little talking for the next few days and she and i gave each others things back. here is wear my problem lies, we share a lot of the same friends and they are saying that she is over me compleatly and that she is ready to date other people. im not ready for that, is this just a front that shes putting up or is she serious? i kno i wasnt always the best boyfriend i drove alot of her guyfriends away if i felt that they would try to take her away from me, and she and i would argue if she wanted to go out to the club with out me... so i kno i wasnt the best but how, if any way do i get this girl back or should i just give up alltogether? im hoping some one out there can help me soon i dont want to loose this girl she means too much to me...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): Maybe if you see her, you could talk to her, and ask her how she would feel about giving things another go.
But I think it could only possibly work if you make sure past mistakes aren't made again. Otherwise, you will end up breaking up again for the same reasons.
If she will talk to you, ask her what it was that made her leave. It might be hard to hear, but you need to know what went wrong. If she is willing to try again, then you both need to work on those issues, so they don't keep cropping up and ruining the relationship all over again.
But if she really isn't interested in trying again, then there is little you can do but let her go. Like Samii said, just learn from what happened and move on. x
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