A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, i have been in a relationship for almost two years with someone who has cheated on me once, and planned on meeting another from the internet.I have been told by friends that I more of less gave him the green card to cheat because I did not leave him. My feelings for him are as strong as they have always been, but i am not happy in myself. When he is with me i feel happy, I think or maybe its relief, as when he is not with me my mind is constantly wondering what he is up too, and who he is with.I live each day the same, going through the routine and basically being anxious. Now i dislike feeling this way as i have been in a relationship before i met him where the trust was intact and i know the difference its makes.Why do i hang on hoping? What is it that makes me want to stay with him, i have had all the advice of friends and family to get rid of him, and have even told him that we are over a few times, yet somehow we always talk things through and end up staying together.the times i have told him we were over i have felt absolutely miserable and cannot describe the awful feelings i get thinking that he is gone.Can anybody explain to me why i am this way? what it is that keeps me here, even though i know its not the best thing. what is this connection i cannot break?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, confwom  +, writes (19 May 2009):
 Considering that he is not taking any step to gain your trust and as you yourself are saying it is not the best thing to be with him and you dont trust him, get out of the relationship that is troubling you. For that first you need to stop thinking about him and stop getting in touch with him. As you say you know about the trustworthy relationship, try to fix in your mind that this guy is not worth your time. Get out or engage yourself in other things when you get his thought. Believe that you will find someone whom you can trust and look for it. Time and distance will relieve you from this trouble.
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