A
male
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anonymous
writes:I'm not sure if I like women anymore. I'm always nice to them and ask their advice, but all they do is be horrible to me and treat me like I'm something they had thrown out. I don't know why though. It's not just the women I date it's people who I see every day who are "friends".Am I doing something wrong? I don't insult them by the way. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (9 October 2007):
You are not reacting properly to their put down. Say "That's crude and I'll get even with you." Then take some action against her within the next week that if much more troublesome to her. Then say, "That makes us even."
A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (9 October 2007):
While I don't know your whole story so it could be any number of factors, from what you write, it sounds like perhaps you are coming across like the Omega dog... the lowest ranking member of the pack. By always being nice (even if they aren't) you come across as not standing up for yourself or taking their abuse. If someone is giving me attitude, or "zings" me, I give back as good as get. You can let a few slide, but eventually if you don't "zing" back, then you lose people's respect. If you are smart and witty, you do this in a playful, clever way that comes across as funny and sharp and let's women know, hey, I'm a nice guy but I'm not a push over. You don't have to channel your inner Kramer and get crazy, but giving a little playful sass right back to a girl let's her know she's dealing with an equal, not a doormat. By asking for their advice, you are pretty much telling them that you have a problem, and you don't know what to do about it. Read: clueless or helpless. For a woman to respect a man, she needs to see him as smart, confident, strong and capable. You are not coming across as any of those things by asking for advice. Now if you have established strong relationships based on mutual respect, then you can safely open up and ask for advice. A woman will feel honored that a strong, cabable man values her opinion. But if you haven't established that sort of relationship with a woman, she will see you as weak and she won't respect you, and if she doesn't respect you she won't treat you with respect.
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