A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: ok so i have started to notice this trend lately that has been happening ? iv noticed that the worst men are attracted to me like im not being rude but im talking drug dealers and drug addicts themselves, the are really attracted to me an upfront about it . i would not mind because every girl likes attention but they are the only ones who are attracted to me ? like i am a pretty girl i have great confidence and respect for my self i dont have a reputation or anything like that and to be honest i would come across as posh, so my question is why are these types of men attracted to me when i am the complete opposite to them
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female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (13 December 2010):
Babsbunny69 I think you hit it right on! I had a BF like that and now I see what the attraction to each other was...Of course I finally got out of it cause I couldnt stand how he treated me and others. So self-centered, a real weasel - men like that have to be...
Great advice too Birdynumnums, by telling her NOT to 'Settle' -
Actually great advice from all of you to the asker - Where were you all when I got involved with a dealer/addict 4 yrs ago? Sigh
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (13 December 2010):
Some people are the "reachers"; just don't give in and be the "settler". It's lovely, it's flattering to be approached constantly even if they aren't your 'cup of tea'; but you need someone who has the same goals and values that you have.
Don't go to bars and nightclubs and expect to meet a rocket scientist. Take courses at uni or do some charitable work at a good hospital and get involved with some decent human beings if you want to meet someone that isn't just wanting to jump your bones. Uni dances; functions and charity events are good places to meet guys who are trying to better themselves.
You might want to reconsider your clothing if you are constantly attracting the wrong type as well. My daughter had a house during uni with 4 other girls - in THE worst district in her town - full of drunks, crackheads and hookers. She quickly learned how to dress to avoid the "Johns" cruising her street - BUT - having said this; the life lesson that she took away with her is that people will interpret you by how you dress. Magazines don't really portray women in the best light so they can be bad guides to dressing. My daughter wound up in the fashion industry and she still never wears revealing clothing; simply because she is attractive and gets fed up with the negative attention that it can draw. I'm not sure if any of this is helpful to you; but I hop that something is of use.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (13 December 2010):
Its probably more of a coincidence that every guy that comes on to you is involved in drugs. It doesnt mean nessiceraly that you fall in to there type of girl, they obviously just find you attractive. But im guessing you dont want to be involved with a man that deals or takes drugs. Why dont you set your sights out for some guys that you feel may be decent, you take the first step and talk to them and get to know them.
The thing is a lot of decent guys can be quite shy and they dont want to approach a girl, and if you are a pretty girl a lot of guys would probably feel intimidated to talk to you in case you reject them or they feel they arent good enough for you. So maybe you should approach guys or give them a warm smile to show them that you are approachable. Goodluck.
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A
female
reader, babsbunny69 +, writes (13 December 2010):
that is exactally the reason they are attracted to you I am friends with many drug dealers and addicts and they like a girl with confidence and that are good looking its the trophy girl concept if you have money and wear it the drug addicts are hoping you will support their habbit and the drug dealers like a girl who is not into what they sell because they know the effect of the drugs to a full extent from seeing it in their clients thus forth causing them to want a good girl and the reason they want someone with class is because they are used to living high class life styles when not doing their line of work and they need a irl who is not scussy to match it unfortunatally there is nothing you can do to change this you can however just change your crowd and see where that leads you eventually you will find the guy you are looking for just stick to your morals
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A
male
reader, Dr Col +, writes (13 December 2010):
Honey...you know what they say - opposites attract. I know that you say you are respectable and could be seen as "Posh" and I don't doubt that for a second but it's maybe the places that you meet these people. I don't care what anyone says. From online dating to meeting a random someone in a queue in a local coffee house you are going to come across a few who aren't going to be the clean potato. Take it from someone who knows. Why not try another avenue of meeting guys? He might be out there looking for you and also hooking up with undesirables...
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