A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have many female friends who are happy with their boyfriends of all shapes and sizes and seem to be totally disinterested in looking at men on the street let alone naked in porn. It is very rare I hear a female friend make a negative remark about a mans body. But it seems everywhere I go , men Witb horgeous girlfriends and wives are constantly looking for greener grass. Checking out other women and even making disparaging remarks about women's , sometimes their womans bodies .Why are so many men so shallow and judgemental . Is this just something that women need to be aware of and never expect men to be any better
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2015): Did you vote for anyone in the last election? How can you vote for anyone when every candidate has done dishonest things? If you voted then you must support dishonesty. That's exactly the same logic. If you pick something then you must be in favor of every single thing about it. What evidence do I need? Do you have evidence that bad things in porn equals bad things in real life? Maybe it has increased in porn because it has DECREASED in real life and porn provides a safer outlet for it. Ever consider that one? The arguments can be flipped around all sorts of ways. But its useless for me to debate this. I don't think you really want to hear alternative viewpoints. I think if I presented evidence in my favor you would pick away at it until you found some way to discount it in your mind no matter how legit it was. Why? Because I think you started this thread to male-bash and blow off a little steam of your own. That urge is not so different from the things you are objecting to.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2015): Whether they are that or not is irrelevant. They support the industry through using it as these sites exist through viewers and advertising . It's a cop out to say not paying makes any difference . The industry delivers what attracts viewers who are MOSTLY MEN paying or not!I rarely if ever hear men complain about chauvanism in porn and if they are truly less chavanistic than fifty years ago then why is violent and abusive demeaning porn still so popular with men ( whether they pay or not makes no difference)I have no issue with you making any claim that men are less chauvinistic however you need to be able to back it up with real life evidence .
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2015): To the previous female anon (July 22):
You can't take what goes on in porn and convict the entire male gender of crimes based on that.
Porn reflects what the big porn enthusiasts & producers like. There are things about it that "average" viewers complain about, one of which is the chauvinism towards women. But most porn viewers (average men) surf a little bit of free porn on the net and they don't really go beyond that. They don't BUY IT so their influence is limited compared to the bigger porn fans and those who make it.
Like I said on my previous comment, some men have gotten much better in the last couple of generations. But it won't do any good until women (including girls in their teens and early 20s) start being more attracted to better men.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2015): The prevelance and nature of today's internet porn would certainly cause big question marks over any Statement that men have gotten less chauvinistic in the last fifty years . In fact there seems To be almost a hatred towards women and desire to see them in submissive and degrading positions
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2015): Why are women only focused on the most shallow & judgmental men?
I have NO DOUBT that any decent research on men in the last 50 years would show they have gotten markedly less chauvinist on average. It would also show that as men treat women more respectfully it is not paying off for them, and women disproportionately focus on the worst men who still don't.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (22 July 2015):
 men are more visual. women care more about other qualities in their partner, not just what he looks like. have you ever noticed all the beauty treatments and surgery that women undergo to make themselves look more attractive, but yet men are more 'take me as you find me'. its just the way it is. not all men are shallow though. its just trial and error finding the ones who have a bit more emotional maturity
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 July 2015):
 Well, OP, I am sure my answer is not what you are looking for, because obviously you have very firm ideas about this issue and your mind is already made up . But, for what is worth, I just want to throw in a couple of comments...
- I think you are practicing selective attention, i.e you are so convinced about your theory that you will notice, and retain in your brain, only data which confirm and reaffirm it. Anything that could disprove it, you won't even see it , or you'll dismiss it as a random, individual quirkiness.
I say this because, for instance, in my experience, ... it's not like you say AT ALL. For what I know and see, women look, women admire, women comment ,women notice,women compare too . It's more perhaps like a sport or a hobby,rather innocuous because ....women, in average ,perhaps have more common sense than males, so , past their teen years , most of them will not discard a perfectly loving and lovable gentleman only because he gained a few pounds or his hairline started receding. Also, they won't up and leave overnight hubby and 3 kids , to
run away with the hunky young lifeguard or pool cleaner whose glorious pecs are such a sight to behold.
But , that they are oblivious or impervious or totally indifferent to such sights, - that's not in my experience at all, and, not to discount yours, but I wonder, is it possible that in so many, alas, years of life I have only and always met shallow and superficial sex maniac females ??!
-Things are not how they SHOULD be, or as it would be moral and proper and commendable they were, things are as they are.
Maybe all people should only be attracted to moral and intellectual qualities, without the least concern for the package they are wrapped in, - but , it just does not happen like this.
I guess it's physiological, the brain zones in charge of feelings of admiration, esteem, affection, etc.- and those in charge of sexual, physical attraction ( raw lust ) are different, and they respond to different sensorial stimuli.
I could kiss the earth trod upon by the Dalai Lama, or the Mahatma Gandhi, or Dr. Albert Schweirzer and other benefactors of humanity , but I sure do not regret I never had the chance to be intimate with them.
Or, once I attended a charity event where tenor Luciano Pavarotti was there too, and , although I was in awe of his incredible, out-of-this-world artistic talent and charisma,- in person he was a gross big fat sweaty pig, personally I would not have touched him with a fork !
I think what 's normal and reasonable to expect from mature people is that they do NOT base their judgement, and the value of a person as a partner, ONLY on looks and physical traits. Like, not to cling on to an impossible match JUST because she's got great tits ( or great pecs ). Or, not to let a " good one " go JUST because he/ she does not tick all the boxes in terms of looks.
But, from this to demanding, and pretending, that people are not to be attracted EROTICALLY by what has both culturally and biologically pushed certain buttons ( in males and females alike ! ) since the dawn of times, ... that's a big jump , a huge shift of perspective ... and one I am not even sure we should sweat a lot to implement .
I think the world could go on peacefully with people of both sexes being fascinated by official ( and most rarely attainable ) standards of perfect beauty... and all in all perfectly happy and content with their less than impressive partners.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2015): "Why are so many men so shallow and judgemental"Because so many men are insecure about their own attractiveness and sexuality, and so feel compelled to compensate by behaving boorishly towards attractive and sexy women to prove their "manliness."
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