A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My fiance always seems to be fine one minute and the next he's shouting at me for nothing. We've been together 3 years and have 2 children. He makes me feel very unloved sometimes. We don't argue much because I sense his moods and try and keep conversation to a minimum. I don't know what to do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2015): HiMy guess is that he controls with anger and moods and is being rather successful in that you try and manage his moods by keeping quiet. I believe he is subjecting you to emotional and verbal abuse. One of the tactics of the abusive male is to be loving one minute and horrible the next to throw you off your centre and make you worried and anxious. They do this to decrease faith in yourself and your judgement and quiet and submissive. Just what they want! They can also make you feel very unloved. Difficult to believe I know, but I suffered something similar for years before I realised what was going on. You can never do anything right..right? Walking on eggshells? Are you always worrying about him and his moods and forgotten about yourself? If this sounds familiar please read an excellent book that helped me understand what was happening. It's called 'Why Does He Do That?' by Professor Lundy Bancroft. It's brilliantly and sympathetically written and I'm betting you will find your boyfriend's behaviour between the pages and it will explain to you about the different kinds of abuse and why some men practice it and how calculated the behaviour is. It's a real eye opener and very empowering!Please read it, you will start to understand what is happening to you and why.Best of luck x
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (22 July 2015):
 he is being an arsehole because you are letting him by not calling him out for his behaviour - could be a lot of reasons he is doing this. he is the only one that knows. you really are gonna have to sit him down and ask him whats troubling him so much that he takes it out on you. has he always been short tempered? he sounds stressed. ask him why
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