A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I find it bizarre. All my male acquaintances seem to be so bleak about their dating lives. I don't really understand why they are like this. I don't find that most long term single women display man-hating attributes. Yet, long term single men display so much bitterness, towards women in particular. Lots of us are in the same boat (regardless of the gender). Why hate? They have to attract the other sex just like us. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2015): I did say more about women in my last comment. The moderators didn't print all of it. (No, it was nothing angry or inflammatory or negative.)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2015): And of course !!! No comment on the fact that men did in fact set all the rules and take all the glory for all of history !!!!
It's really very amusing the way men will do anything to bring it back to them and ignore the fact that they do indeed need to take responsibility for the oppression and degradation of women that still goes on today .
If a man considers himself evolved , he would surely be stepping up against rape, porn, domestic violence and the many other forms of a use his fellow men commit STILL in 2015 , instead of sitting back and saying ' oh but I didn't personally do it'
That is what being evolved is !!!! It's about thinking about more than just oneself !!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2015): Lots of men defy their "normal" shortcomings too. But men still have some shortcomings compared to women, on average. I can say this because I am male and everyone recognizes my gender's shortcomings.
But we don't recognize that women have shortcomings anymore. We call them "differences" when women don't measure up to males on something. I would be okay with that as long as we did the same thing for men. But we don't. This modern push for equality only goes one way. Women aren't inferior, they are different. Men are inferior.
We don't always spell it out in clear blunt terms but this mindset is very much the way people have begun to think. We carefully hide it with politically correct terms but its there.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2015): Oh wow! Now I've heard it all.
Will men EVER stop and recognise women???
Men have performed so 'well' up until now because historically ONLYrns achievements were valued or recognised .
Women were not allowed into many arenas that were valued.
To give a classic example, Some great writers were women
Who had to hide their identity men!
Women were EXCLUDED and expected to exist quietly
Within the family sphere, raising children and waiting on men.
Men Set the rules and took the glory!!!!!
That is why they supposedly did so 'well'
And according to some responses we can see how entitled they still feel
To do so and how they fail to acknowledged the
Qualities of women which have grown thrown
Oppression and self sacrifice.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2015): I agree with the male anonymous who thinks calling men "less evolved" is futile. And it is nothing better than reverse chauvinism.
Realistically, keeping history in mind, women are in a position to argue that men have been jerks. A lot of historically marginalized groups have a reason to feel bitter about how they have been treated. But at what point does it end?
When I see or hear African Americans show bitterness toward white people (and if you live in America you know exactly what I am talking about) I always think, "why are you angry at me about something that happened 50 years ago?" Then I think, "Why are you mad at me at all just because I am white, and I had nothing to do with it."
It is not fair to put all men in that category just because there exist some who are chauvinistic. Just as it is not fair for African American's to feel anger toward all white people just because there exist some who reinforce racism.
I don't think using reverse chauvinism improves anything but rather reinforces the very negative attitude that you claim to be against. Calling men "less evolved" is just mean.
And no offense, but I assume these "less evolved" men who don't work and live in filth, I assume they had mothers? If women are so together and are something to be praised, where do you suppose they went wrong in raising these losery men you speak of?
Everytime a man puts down a woman, he is insulting his own mother. And his sister. And his grandma. And by the same token, any time a woman insults a man, she's only insulting herself.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2015): My earlier point still stands. When women measure worse than men on something (including mental as well as physical) we say the standards need adjusting in some way to allow women's differences to rate equally valid. But when males measure worse we call them inferior.
Let's re-measure on a scale that isn't weighted to female strengths. One where building a structure or fighting off a wild animal rates as high as keeping a dwelling clean or keeping track of meaningless paperwork. Then see how badly men measure up.
Men are "under-performing" today because have done our job extremely well for centuries and mostly invented ourselves out of work.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2015): When we measure A sex as more evolved we consider many factors, but mainly what progress we made as a human race and civilization. And men manage to stay as cruel and as ...less developed then women... as prehistoric men were. Look at all the wars, and cruelty. Who's is the cause of them? Men.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2015): Oh come on.... Seriously ?
To the male who thinks it's unfair for women to point out that men are in general less evolved , perhaps he needs to consider the way women are treated in society by men day after day ... As lesser beings.
One only has to look at domestic violence , pornography, sexual discrimination and see how men treat women as lesser in every single arena .
Yet a woman dares to point out something about men and suddenly the mods are wrong for publishing it ... Ummmm no!!!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2015): I find the exact opposite to be true.
Also, I would caution you that measuring a sex a more or less "evolved" depends upon what your meaning of "fully evolved" is. My guess is in most cases that is a reflection of someone agenda and personal biases.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2015): Men are less evolved if you define "evolved" as fitting into a culture that increasingly favors female strengths.
If women statistically do worse in something then we dont' say women are somehow inferior. Today we say the standards need adjusting. Women have different moral progrqamming. Women aren't worse, just different. Etc. But in the areas where women exceed we just point the finger at men for failing to measure up. Why is that?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2015): LOL "men are less evolved."
As if a male comment saying the reverse would even get past the moderators.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2015): I agree with last poster who said that men are less evolved than women.
This is very true. If you look at a single guy the way he lives, it's usually a mess. His house is a mess, his appearance is too and he always complains how bad women are and all they want is his money. But the irony is they don't even have any money. They can hardly support themselves nowadays, but still they always complain about women extorting money from them. ....And they stay single for years to come.
Women on another hand are together even if they don't have a partner. Some women actually are very much enjoying themselves being single as they don't have to care for a guy and be a housekeeper, a mommy and a nurse.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2015): This is due to a very very simple and seldom acknowledged fact of life. Men are less evolved than women!
They live their wholes lives entirely about themselves , sometimes about making money to support a family but believe me they sure let the world know when they do!
Women, on the other hand are taught to be selfless, to care for children and others with little or no financial gain
In other words women expect to sacrifice, they understand that the world is not all about them
Most men do not !!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2015): I don't agree that single men are more bitter than single women. Or are even bitter at all. I have alot of dude friends that are always single and they are not bitter about it. They like women very much. I think men who are bitter are more likely those who have gotten rejected alot by women. And therefore their being single is a direct result of rejection and not at all a choice. That creates bitterness. But there are lots of single men who are single as a choice. They have no problem getting women and they've been in relationships and they enjoy dating here and there but for whatever reason they just haven't fallen in love or met the one. Or they are working on themselves and their careers and feel fulfilled just hanging with friends and not having to deal with anything more complicated than that. That's how most of my dude friends are. They get chicks. So that's not why they are single. But I guess because their lifestyle is a choice for them, they don't feel bitter. They have complete control over why they are single. If anything I think they often feel like jerks for not being more available to girls. And birds of a feather flock together for sure because I've been single for years at a time and just like my guy friends I am not bitter. I like men very much, even when I am single. And in a lot of ways I feel like they do about it. I've never really had a super successful relationship and being single does not seem like the end of the world to me or cause for bitterness. When you have a decent job and good friends who can relate to you and are in your boat, everything seems okay. And I am always hopeful that I will meet someone great someday in due time.So these men that are bitter feel that not because they are single, I guarantee you that is not the cause. But more than likely it is because they probably have no luck getting chicks. And they have no control over it so they are frustrated. They don't know how to get what they want. And instead of working on themselves and work on their game they turn into misogynists instead. But do know and be aware that many single men (and women) do not at all feel that way.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 January 2015):
 The answer is simple:
Women are told they can't "hold on to a man". In other words, its our fault we are single. We're not good looking enough, or we don't cook well enough, or we don't dress right, or generally we failed somehow. So we "can't get a guy to stick around".
Guys "don't get a chance". It's the womens fault that they don't get a girlfriend/get laid. Women are too picky. Too bossy. Women always go for someone better, "women have more opportunities" etc.
So in both cases, the women are at fault. So women aren't bitter about men, they are instead worried about their waste line and how they can better themselves in order to catch a man. Men are bitter at women because.. well, apparently it's all our fault.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2015): Ask a woman to describe men's experience being single. They will usually describe what it's like for the most desirable few men at the top of the heap. The majority of men have a much, much harder go of it.
For some reason women are convinced that casual sex is just as easy for men to get as it is for women. It most definitely is not.
Men not only struggle to get sex, they usually have to lower their attractiveness standards for anything other than serious relationship. On the other hand women actually get to raise their standards and choose from hotter guys when they don't demand a relationship or commitment and just want some fun. The kind of single sex life available to most women is a total fantasy for most men.
...............................
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (31 January 2015):
Dear OP,
Maybe you just picked the wrong sample of men and women? Because where I'm from, single women are at least equally bitter.
I've been single for a long time myself and I also had to struggle with becoming bitter. When you feel like you're trying and trying and nothing works.. you start to blame those you feel rejected by.
I think it's a consequence of disappointment. But, after I fell heavily in love, all the bitterness had melted away and my heart was open to men and life.
So I believe that beneath those bitter words, some men and women still hide a romantic side that can be woken up again.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2015): Some men who are bitter about being single feel that they have to do all the work to court women. It is still the norm to have men do the purusing though there are women who have no problems initiating. Because of this norm, they believe women have it easier - which is not necessarily true depending on what a person is looking for in a partner. I do believe it is easier for women to get laid because a lot of men are driven by their urges and are not always very selective as long as they can get into someone's pants. However, I don't think a lot of women would appreciate being seen in such a way. It might be easier to find men who want to sleep with them. It is another thing to find someone who values them more than a body with three holes. It seems there are quite a number of men who resent women for dating "jerks" and ignoring the "nice guys." Sometimes the bitterness comes from them putting in all this effort and women not responding in the way they want. Sometimes they feel misled. Some women lead them on for an ego boost. Some feel they are entitled or should be rewarded for their efforts. Some men become discouraged after multiple failures. I am sure the bitterness also comes from seeing women not as individuals, but as prizes to be won. It really depends on the person himself and what his experiences have been which contribute to his outlook on women and relationships and sex.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (31 January 2015):
 Women generally demand more in a relationship than men. For most men, companionship and sex would satisfy while women want men with money, masculinity at the same time knowing how to emotionally connect. Most men don't have all three. I don't think men hate women but the idea that no matter what they do they are never enough for women. Men also have to take the initiation and risk rejection through dating. They feel they have to work so hard with little pay back. Such as long term courtship leading to fights and arguments after kids, then a sexless marriage and divorce leaving him more broke then before. Being bitter is also a protection against being hurt again in a relationship. The biggest problem is that most single men under 30 do not necessarily want a relationship but they have to go through one in order to get sex. Then within the relationship the woman does not want sex anymore, because of whatever problem the man falls short.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2015): May be because they are the ones who experience more regections than women. Plus they end up picking up the tab more often than women, so they feel that they are cheated out of their money if they don't get any.
Women now are more independent financially and emotionally, so that leaves a very limited space for assholes in their lives, not like before.
...............................
|
