| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am a white woman who married a black man. We have been married now for 4 years and recently he is always bothering me about six tatoos I have had since I was in my 20's. I am now 40. Why is this happening now?
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female
reader, Delila +, writes (3 September 2005):
I would say he probably did'nt feel safe enough to express how he felt about them until now. Also sometimes things like that don't bother us until we become emotionally attached. If you have no intention of getting rid of them tell him you can see that he hates them but you are sorry you will not be getting rid of them. i you would consider having them removed ask him to pay for it.
A
reader, pops +, writes (2 September 2005):
YOu are going to have to talk to him on this. Only he can tell you why this is now an issue. I suspect its not the real problem he is bothered about, but a convenient scapegoat. Sit him down and ask him to honestly tell you what is bothering him. Don't be judgmental, or take offense, no matter what he says. He may hurt your feelings by telling you the truth, b SWo, but the only way you can possibly solve the problem is to identify it properly. So, steel yourself, put yourself in the mood to listen, and then explore solutions with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005): Maybe he was too scared to tell you beforehand that he didn't like tatoos. If i was you i would talk to him to see why he hates tatoos too much. Hopefully by the end of the conversation he won't mind them as long as he has you.
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