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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend's birthday is Friday and I am going to eat with him and his parents and we are hanging out together that night. Saturday we are also hanging out, but that night, he is going to hang out with his friends for his birthday. OK, so that's fine, but I am not allowed to come, cus his friends do not like me and he will have to focus his attention on me. That is also fine with me, but his friends are allowed to bring their girlfriends if they want, and he does not care. But his own girlfriend he will not allow. I know it's not cus he wants to get frisky or anything, but it hurts my feelings , and I feel it is wrong. So do others, but he feels I am wrong and just being jealous. It eats me up inside, and I am feeling like this is the last straw.
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reader, Wendyg  +, writes (15 June 2005):
 If he is prepared to single you out and let this go ahead without you, then he really isnt worth it. Perhaps find out why his friends dont like you ? but at the same time tell him that your not just being jealous, your his girfriend its his party you should be there! If he isnt going to put your feelings first then get rid and find someone more mature. this really is silly that you cant attend a party because his freinds dont like you... thats really pathetic.. he should stand up for you and invite you anyway and then they can see why he likes you.. if he wont change is mind then ithink he is being very and unfair and you should tell him that your not prepared to be treated like this and ditch him. Go found someone that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
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reader, MyKhemikalRomanze +, writes (15 June 2005):
You know what i would say? I would tell him that it doesn't seem right that they (the girlfriends) get to go and you dont. Personally, I don't think its right either. I think you should sit down and have a talk with him about that night. Maybe tell him (nicely, of course) that he needs to have a talk with his friends, possibly changing their minds about you. Who knows? Maybe if you go, you guys will all be friends, and you could all hang out! It would be much better than leaving you behind. Even if they still dont like you, I have always been taught to ignore people that dont like me and people i don't like. So even if you shouldn't go, I would. It's your boyfriend, not theirs.
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reader, Groove +, writes (15 June 2005):
When you choose a partner, you aren't only choosing him, but also his family and friends. Why do his friends not like you? Try to be objective. Ask yourself whether you may appear either possessive, or aloof, to his friends. You don't say much about the type of people they are. It might be that they are very different sorts of people to you, and you just don't have any common ground. If this is the case -bear in mind that you can tell a lot about a person by the sort of friends he keeps. Often when we are in love, we are blinded and give the object of that affection more credit than they deserve when it comes to their personality! We are much more able to be objective about them, however, if we look at their friends. He is friends with them because he shares common values. If you do not share these with him, and with them, there may be a fundamental problem in your relationship.Birthdays are important occasions. A night out with the lads has its place, but I think it inappropriate that you are the only girlfriend to be excluded. If a man is in love with a woman, he will want to spend time with her. For an occasion like this, where other women will be present, he is showing emotional immaturity. My advice to you is: ask yourself whether this relationship is making you happy. We only pass this way once. If it is not - do not be the one to train him up for the next woman. Find someone who thinks you are far and away more fun to be with than his friends are. He clearly isn't ready for a full relationship. He wants to have his cake and eat it. Don't put up with this - you are a woman - you deserve more! And remember; you aren't going to meet anyone better until you leave this one. You will miss mr. right if you are not single, as mr. right isn't interested in other peoples' girlfriends! Best wishes ;-)
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