A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Hi, i just need some advice or something that will help me understand.I'am 14 but some people mistake me for being 21.Anyways the guys at my school seem so closed minded about the people who they date.All of them have to date the girls that look like snooki or a girl that's rail thin and put 5 pounds of make up on and are the ones that date everyone.I understand their trying to maintain their status at being the top of the "food chain" but why can't they the pick good apples at the top of the tree instead if the ones with worms in them at the bottom? Some of them actually try to talk to me but (this may seems strange) they seem scared . Weird huh? I think the reason why is because i have a short temper and most of us were on the same wreslting team so to them they think i'm the female version of hulk.I try to nice but the look on their faces makes it seem like they're about to run like a bat of heck. I just don't get it...They're just so immature.Sometimes i feel like i'm the only person that has common sense in the ninth grade. Why is it hard to understand them? I makes no darn sense.
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (25 November 2010):
 Are you certain you're not doing the same thing they are? That is, going for the guys that give off the most attractive vibes, while ignoring the existence of the boring ones (you know, the ones with character)?
If you're not, I salute you, the next few years will be tough. If so, maybe it's time to rethink your priorities.
Without seeing what you look like, it'd be tough to say why they react to you the way they did. I knew a few cute wrestler girls back in the day, so who knows. The short temper is something you can really only get away with when you're both hot and easy. I can say that no guy likes to hear girls complain about other girls, so if you're doing that anywhere but here, stop (it's quite welcome here, though).
As for why it's hard to understand guys, it's mostly because they're all changing right now. The transition from boyhood to manhood is a tough one, more than I think most girls recognize. Not that girls have it easy, either, but I think the perception of guys is that they have it easier than they really do.
Anyway, while they're changing, especially as their minds aare making the transition, a lot of them are also trying to maintain status among the other guys, get laid, find a girl to date for real, and struggle with their parent(s) for more freedom and less responsibility. At the same time, most guys are convinced that every other guy is having an easier time than they are, all without looking like they're having a tough time of it. It's tough on them, and seemingly incomprehensible behavior is a natural consequence.
Sadly, there's really no way I know of to fix this except to let it fix itself over time. Good luck finding one who's there.
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (25 November 2010):
 First of all I am going to say exactly why they pick the low apples. They are easy, plain and simple it's how they are popular now but that dies off almost right at grad or shortly after high school. The majority want the tipical slutty girl who likes to party but there are alot of guys who don't. They tend to just not be the gossip of the school so you don't really know about them.
Don't give up looking for the right guy, he is around and may just need you to start talking to him first. I'm sure you would make a great gf.
Guys at that age are just very scatter brained between girls and video games they really don't focus well. Maybe you could even look to a higher grade for a guy who can meet your maturity level. Girls do tend to mature sooner than guys which is why alot of them feel more comfortable with an older guy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010):
Look around, there are mature boys. They do their homework, they don't get into trouble with drugs or alcohol, they get along with adults, etc. Some of them are definitely more mature than the average girl your age.
But are these boys very exciting to you? Probably not.
That's because most girls don't really want a mature boy. They want an immature boy that is older so he looks sexier and has a more polished game.
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