A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:33 years old, married, and work as a nurse. I met a physician 58 years old that has tooken an interest in me. He is a flirt and a social butterfly. I am shy, quite, and reserved. I started noticing him when he started flirting with me which turned me off completely. I use to ignore him and walk pass him like he didn't exist. The more I ignored him, the more he would chase me. I hate an attention seeker and that is all he seemed to be. He is a ladies man that has to be noticed by everyone. Nurses flock over him all the time making complete fools of themselves. As time went on, we became friends (not close). He is married and has been for 26 years. He goes to church and claims he is very active in the church. I figured since he goes to church, it may not be a bad idea to be buddies since I go to church too. Well we started talking and we exchanged numbers. Here is where the problem started. He started asking me for my passwords to my accounts at work. He started coming up on my unit daily pretending to see patients. He even started asking management about me cause he knew about previous interviews I went on. All of this and I still wanted to be friends. We started texting each other and calling each other on the phone. He says he wants to see me and how much he likes me. I started falling for him and would make plans to see him. We haven't went out yet because he does something that annoys me. If I don't call him when he says or don't make him priority, he gives me the silent treatment. If I don't respond to him in a timely fashion when he calls, he doesn't call me for weeks. I don't understand why he does this. I have talked to him and he just says I am busy. It started off as me wanting to be just friends but now I am emotionally messed up. We haven't had sex but I feel like he is playing mind games. I don't run after no man and feel like it's not fair for him to treat me this way. Why and what is the reason for his actions?
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female
reader, jd0230 +, writes (3 May 2009):
ok so obviously you work around this man and you are getting emotionally involved with a coworker, much less a married man. If you ask me, you arent chasing after the man, but the idea of lust. That definitely isnt the christian thing to do. Do you really want to end up committing adultry, much less be treated the way you are with this man? This is all in all complicated and it is best for you to just detach yourself as fast as possible, before you realize you have gone too far. You know it is totally wrong for you or you wouldn't be questioning yourself. I would definitely get help with your marriage as well if you are not happy. God Bless!
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (3 May 2009):
 OK...in a nutshell...YOU ARE MARRIED!Thats whats wrong with it in the first place. Normally at this time I would begin to torch you for what I bet is going to be a monumental mistake, but I wont since I am having a good day..lol...so I will try to be as constructive as I can...which will be hardIt seems that this Doctor of yours is playing a huge power trip and you are unfortunately falling for this man. Regardless of what you may think, I would suggest being honest with your husband and seeking marriage counseling.You cant find love in your own relationship if you seek love outside of it.Please listen, as you don't want to do something that you cant take back...like cheating on your husband. If you give a tenth of the effort in your marriage as you are in this debacle, you may find yourself in love with your husband all over again.Now as to this "Doctor"(I use that term loosely because he seems to have the bedside manner of Josef Mengele).This man is using you for his own ends, and you are going to get the shit end of the stick if you don't tread carefully. You think he is gonna leave his wife? a doctor? He'd lose his ass in the settlement. You are being USED!You used the excuse of him being a fellow churchgoer as to why you exchanged phone numbers? ARE YOU SERIOUS? Not very Christian of either one of you, is it now? You say you "dont run after no man"?You have been and you are.The way he treats you, what if he gets really upset at you and stifles a promotion or worse yet, gets you fired from your job?Sexual Harrassment would be hard to prove now since you have been communicating with him, and it seems you enjoy it to some extent. Best to get yourself away from this guy and work on your marriage. Because you have a lot to lose by selfishly continuing down this path
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A
female
reader, lynda121  +, writes (3 May 2009):
 this is your typical guy. he wanted you because you weren't interested in him and you stuck to your guns about your decision. Guys love the chase, doesn't matter how old how young, they love it when you aren't showing any interest when others are, they feed off it, it makes you stand out form the crowd.
but now you have shown interest he wants to take control of it and by you not ringing when he asks you to then that's you taking control back and he doesn't like it, no man does. no it isn't fair for him to treat you this way but also you shouldn't of really got emotionally involved with him if he is married and you knew what he was like, i think you should just be friends with this guy and not let his actions get to you.
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