A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am very confused. Currently sleeping on the bathroom floor after being called a liar, being spit on, having multiple small objects thrown at me, and I was the one called the abuser.When I heard him say this, I stepped out of the washroom and told him that he's allowed to say that I am an abuser if he can support it. He says I abuse indirectly by not having sex, by getting home from work "with hot peppers in my ass bc of what he said HOURS ago", for leaving him at home unemployed while I go to my job and for not speaking to him every minute that I am there.Before opinions are made: he spent the first 2 hours of our morning while I was at my job, calling to make sure I was at my desk, demanding to know when I left my desk to go to the washroom, telling me that I am an insensitive, arrogant, mental case bc I get so upset with his words (which he justifies as acceptable bc he was angry w me for nothing).I was terribly upset because this happens all the time and I try so hard not to give a reaction bc that's what he wants...so I got home and didn't say much bc my feelings were hurt. I tried to be intimate and he pushed me away. Later, while I am working on a paper he asks "hey, can I f*ck you?" and when I tell him he can and I don't look enthusiastic about it, he gets angry, says to forget about it bc I make his life miserable and watches TV.I turn off the alarm on my phone and he tells me that its some guy who sent me a message and tells me I'm a liar. Comes over, throws the remote control at me, spits on me, kicks my computer, and grabs my phone to see if I am lying or not.I got up and told him to spit on his mother and call her a liar if he finds it acceptable and he went on a rant about how I am an "indirect abuser" for not speaking to him when I got home from work because of something he said "hours ago" and for not providing sex immediately when he wanted it (he says "because you were saaaaaad")and that I need to grow up.Am I missing something? Did I do something wrong other than try to stand my ground for once?
View related questions:
liar Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): You know, I am actually kind of glad you have asked this question, because it shows that a part of you knows that something is very wrong in this situation.
No, it is not you. You have done nothing wrong. It sounds like you are working very hard, and this guy doesn't seem to appreciate anything that you do. It seems like nothing pleases him. I don't know what is wrong with him. He may be unhappy with life in general, he may be insecure and jealous, I don't know. But there is no excuse for him to treat you like this.
Are you happy in this relationship? What are you getting out of it? I am quite concerned for you, seeing as he has started to throw things at you, and spit at you. I fear that he may step up a level at some point, and get even more aggressive towards you. Seriously, I do not have good feelings about this.
My advice would be to get out of the relationship, for the sake of your safety, your self-esteem, and your dignity. You don't deserve this at all. While you still have some strength left, use it and find a way out. Otherwise, he may continue to abuse you until there is no strength left within you. Please think carefully about this, and do what you have to in order to be safe. I hope things work out well for you, take care. xx
A
female
reader, old-spinstah  +, writes (24 October 2009):
This guy is the abuser not you. Get yourself out of there.
...............................
A
male
reader, weparley +, writes (24 October 2009):
My first thought and question to you is?....."How can someone sit there and take what I just read? You gotta be kidding me right? I almost believe some thing is wrong with you by sticking around..."Seriously""You sticking around doesn't speak much volume about you" GET OUT...WHILE YOU CAN!!! ASAP!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): No, keep standing your ground, come on. Literally this guy is not worth your time
...............................
|
