A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Ok so...I have been with a man for nearly 6 years now, and we've had our share of problems. But recently his mother passed away. She was nearly 80 so..this was not unexpected. He has never had a good relationship with his parents, but after his mother died I encouraged him to try to get to know his father so he didn't regret later not atleast trying.The thing is...Ever since he has started seeing his father on a regular basis he's treated me like some sort of enemy. Always telling me I am the reason he doesnt have a relationship with his family and the reason why he never has any money. He's even gone as far as to say I never wanted him to talk to his father again.When I point out the fact that I was the one who pushed him into talking to his father again he dismisses it. All I hear since he has gotten back in touch with his family is how controlling i am and how much he hates me.The thing is, I have given him everything I have, and more..I may not have alot of money, but I took job interviews for him so he could get a better job, I stayed with him 24/7 when he was in the hospital with a lung infection...His family never even bothered to come see him here at our home in the 6 years I have been with him...and now that he is back involved with them I'm the enemy.I don't know what to do...I don't want to be the bad guy come between him and his family, but I know the negativity comes from them talking down to him. I have seen it before, so this is nothing different...I just don't know how to open his eyes to what is really going on and getting him to stop attacking me for things they have said.HELP!
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male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 His family obviously don't like you or want you and are doing everything they can to poison his mind and are doing a good job of it. Because he has become guilty about cutting himself of from them he has left himself emotionally exposed to them and they are taking advantage of this. However it is surprising to see him become almost irrational about this. As you have already spoken to him to no effect you are unlikely to have any impact in the short term. But you should not put up with any further attacks against you, you need to make this very clear otherwise it will become a pattern that will perpetuate itself. If this continues you may end up needing to put your relationship on the line as painful as that sounds.
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