A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This man and I dated for almost 6 yrs.We lived together for 5yrs.9 months ago we bought a house together.He helped raise my 2 kids.Everyone thought we were perfect together.We talked about marriage. 2 months ago he told me he wasnt in love with me anymore.He said we were going to work on things and rekindle the spark.He moved out instead.He said he just needed to figure stuff out that he was depressed about everything in his life.Fine.I was willing to wait for him.Except this weekend I found out he left me for a girl he met at work, she started about a month before he dropped this bombshell on me.So of course I check the phone bill, you already know what i found.I am absolutley devastated.My question is why am I still in love with him and want him back?I must be a fool!
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at work, depressed, moved out, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (5 July 2012):
 No you are most certainly NOT a fool, just a person in love with another who has been a major part of your life and whom has now decided to drop the ball and run in another direction.
It's cruel and devestating and it happens a million times a day all over the world to both men and women when they think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
It's upsetting to be dumped, but it's doubly painful if your partner finds someone else to leave you for, it's like saying 'You arn't good enough and I want someone else'...Ouch!!
You are still in love because your heart holds on to the life you once had with him and all the dreams you imagine would happen (like getting married, maybe having a child together etc).
You will go through the whole denial/anger/bargaining/grief and finally acceptance stages (Kubler-Ross)and each one brings its frustrations and torments. This is the time to bring your family and friends around you to help you cope and come to terms with what has happened.
I know it's a cliche but time will heal and you will carry on for yourself and for your children.
So sorry this happened to you,
Hugs
xxxxx
A
male
reader, Gwaimana  +, writes (5 July 2012):
Coz u stayed with him for a long time.it wont b easy to take him out of ur mind but with time.He was fair to you by tell what was in his mind,so thus not the you must also move on.
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