A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i probably sound really silly writing this but im really upset that my ex fiance has got married to somebody else.im upset because i dont understand why im upset after all when we were together we had a house which i left to him after our bad split which he was happy to keep.when we first got engaged he spent the total of 12.99 on my engagement ring ! he was never that affectionate or particularly loving to me and even though we had a car-which he also kept i would still have to walk 2 miles back with shopping rather than him pick me up so why now am i upset hes got married ? is it because i think hes changed and will be all gloriously wonderful to the new girl-it must be otherwise why am i so upset can people really change ? someone please tell me im not a saddo
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): I can completely understand how you all are feeling too. This must be year of the breakups. I was with my ex for seven years. It was at times great, others not so. Some days were filled with arguements that would send us into days of not speaking. Many days he would threaten to leave. I developed a fear of him leaving because of it. some would call it a co-dependant thing. I say i was going nuts. Anyways we broke up in late 2007, and one year later just as I had gotten over him, the MF shows up at my door. He travelled 1500 miles, sold his car, and within 2 weeks of him being here I gave my life up once again. I even droppped the new bf, although he was no better. I sure know how to pick em. Anyways, he leaves 5 months later to go back to get his things in order and what not and ends up getting married the following month. Im completely heart-broken and saddened, all over AGAIN. At least I can thank him for not leaving me pregnant, just like he did in 07. Im not so sure I even understand why I am allowing my self to feel so bad. But I do. Sorry for the rant.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009): I totally understand what your going through. My ex got married a 3 months ago and we broke up 9 months ago. I think it is the thinking he is better to someone else that is bothering you. Cause that is what's bothering me. I try keep reminding why I broke up with him in the first place to help me. BUt sometimes that doesn't work cause my mind keeps bringing back the good times. But I keep pushing taking 1 day at a time and allowing myself to heal. God bless and hope all goes well with your healing, I know I need one...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): I can totally relate to your problem. This the main reason I don't dare to divorce my husband.
I;m afraid,some woman would make him happier, and they would throu out all my pictures and repalce with hers,also maybe a new baby, and make my children secondary.
I know it is very sick of me, and it is not good for me, but I know, I have to be really ready to face this before I leave.
The problem is that he stole your self confidence, and it is a hard thing to get back .Good luck, and take care
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (22 July 2009):
 I expect you're upset as most people would be when they hear that. You imagine all kinds of things, like he's much happier than you are (which would not be fair), and he has changed if he found someone to marry him, and why couldn't he have changed for me? Wasn't I good enough and didn't I deserve the nice guy that he must have inside him?
These are the irrational thoughts that flood the mind and work up those awful feelings of rejection, regret, longing for what was and what could have been and the closing of a door, the end of the possibilities. The trick is to recognize that they are just that, irrational, that it's the little child within you that is pouting and upset and angry because she didn't get her way. Embrace that little child, go ahead and have a pity party, invite your friends, rent "The Break Up", order in pizza, make silly cocktails, play your music too loudly and dance. Then have a little ritual where you burn his letters or a photo or somehow create a ceremonial final split from him. Kind of a funeral for the relationship, if you will.
Your feelings are natural, if they get to the point where they are interfering with your life, you might want to think about seeing a counselor. I think your handing over the house and a car and accepting a ridiculously cheap trinket as a ring suggests that you have some self-esteem issues that may be fixable. Continuing to fret about him rather than working on yourself will result in no change in your life.
Good luck, and frankly, good riddance to him. He sounds appalling. You deserve better, and it's time you figure out why you put up with shabby treatment.
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