A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey! im 16 and i have a boyfriend that i have been wiv for a little less than 2 months. its all going really well and everything.but the wierd thing is that sometimes when i am with him, if he says a comment that offends me - such as yesterday he said something about me being dumb. after that i think it hurt me quite a bit because i suddenly had a really sad feeling and i actually started crying. but i turned away from him so he didnt see.dont get me wrong! he is an absolutly lovely person and treats me really well!but there is just the occasional comment thats all - but nobody's perfect.why do you think i feel so upset and start crying when he says a little comment like that? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): You must tell him how much his comments hurt you, communication is the key, do this in a calm manner. If you dont tell him, your feelings for him will eventually erode.
A
female
reader, katzkitten +, writes (20 February 2007):
 he's probably just messing around. my boyfriend says things like that alot and i just laff it off n hope that hes joking lol. You've probably got lots of hormones aswell so its gunna bova u more than it would normaly. best of luck with things :) lemmi no how things go xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2007): hi im posted this questin.
hi wvgirl. thanx for the advise but dont worry he is definitly not trying to hurt me!
he is so kind to me most of time i think it just comes as a bit of a schock to me when he suddenly says something that i dont like.
my mates sometimes say little comments like that and i just laugh it off and im really not bothered at all! but when my boyfriend does how come i feel hurt and upset?
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (17 February 2007):
 You need to build up your confidence a bit more, that's all. You sound very sensitive and unsure of yourself where your boyfriend is concerned. He's with you because he wants to be so don't worry so much about it. He's obviously opening his mouth without thinking. Try not to be too overly sensitive and hey, tell him he hurts you sometimes and does he really think you're dumb? I'm sure he'll apologise right away and let you know he really didn't mean it the way it came out.
The good thing is, he feels comfortable enough with you that he can be himself. Don't take these little things to heart. If he treats you well the rest of the time then I'd say you were just being too sensitive. Next time he says something like that just laugh it off and turn it back to him and tell him he can be dumb too sometimes!
Eve
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A
female
reader, wvgirl  +, writes (17 February 2007):
 When someone we love tells us that they don't like something about us, it hurts more than if it was just a friend or stranger. If he's saying this stuff jokingly, let him know that it hurts your feelings. However, if he is intentionally insulting you, then you need to nip it in the bud now. Tell him in no uncertain terms that his insults are not acceptable. If he really does care for you, he'll respect your feelings.
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