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Why am I so hung up on not being her first kiss? Is it just the distance?

Tagged as: Long distance, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 July 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 July 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok so my first kiss was with my girlfriend almost 6 months ago. I started dating her the during the school year I mean and it is now the summertime. I am obviously a virgin as is my girlfriend. I had never done anything with any girls except "booty grind" with some girls at dances lol. Now my girlfriend told me that she had kissed a few guys before me and I see them at school but it never bothered me at all! Yet now that I'm away from her for the summer I just started thinking about her and these guys for some reason. I literally can't get it out of my head. They were only kisses, no groping or touching. I am the only guy to to even touch her butt or do anything past that (so another words she was super inocent)...I guess I feel like she thinks about these guys still even though their names never come up in conversation. She has kissed any of these guys in over half a year! I know it is silly and stupid to dwell on something so minimal but I think I'm just insecure in my own ability as a boyfriend. I am her first everything, except first kiss. So maybe I am mad about not getting the first kiss? She isn't even friends with these guys on facebook and she doesn't even talk to them. She tells me that I am all she needs and we are deeply in love but my low self-asteem tells me otherwise. I want to stop feeling this way and move on to how it was before. I haven't seen her in forever and we are kinda in a long distance relationship until school starts. Maybe it will get better once I see her and spend time with her again at school?

View related questions: facebook, insecure, long distance, move on

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 July 2010):

Honeypie agony auntWell, MAYBE when you see her again you can be the guy who kisses her the BEST :)

She will forget about any other dudes.

Kiss her socks off.

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A female reader, selene_moondrake United States +, writes (20 July 2010):

It's okay to feel this way when you have been away from each other for some long but you have to trust your feelings for her and her feelings for you are you will not be in a relationship with her for long. A kiss is just a kiss. Remember that you have all the time in the world to get to the other stuff and take the time to trust and be friends if you want this to work don't hold on to the past. As you said see doesn't even talk to those guys.

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A female reader, emma-louisa United Kingdom +, writes (20 July 2010):

ok. i have read your post, to me you sound really insecure. If you girlfriend loves you for who you are then im sure your just be fine. your paranoid will drive her away. honestly. If you keep thinking about what she had done in the past. i.e kissing other guys before you, could possibly lead you to having a complicated relationship,she will automaticly think that you don't trust her. long-distance relationships do make things so much harder, all depending with the trust and honestly. why don't you arrange to meet her during summer term, i mean you will have a decent time together without everyone else involved. if that makes sense. i hope my answer had helps.

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