A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Morning to you allI need some objective advice.I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. I love him very much. We do "clash" sometimes because we both hold strong opinions on things and are equally quick tempered.Well, here's the other catch - we are both of low self-esteem too.Just lately I have been getting very depressed and it has been making us argue more. I know what I need to do - more exercise and to start looking after myself more (i.e. stop smoking cannabis)I am 32 and with being depressed feel as though I have lost my looks. I am paranoid and every photo that goes on facebook has me in tears looking at flaws and just knowing how ugly and old I look. I compare it to when I know I was so pretty in my twenties and it makes me not want to go out and stay in bed under the covers or stay at home and smoke more cannabis.My boyfriend is always saying that I am just being paranoid and I look fine on my photos, but I Hate going out with him cause I think he is going to be looking at younger girls and thinking they are so much better looking and nice than me.The other week someone took a picture of me whilst we were out and i noticed that I had a loose bit of skin under my chin and didn't say anything to my partner cos I thought it is just going to make him go off me even more if I keep mentioning my flaws. Well a night or two later we were lying together messing around and play fighting, when he said "what's all this?" and grabbed the bit under my chin. I was mortified but didn't say anything. Then last night I just came out with it cause my sister said that he is trying to make me feel shit cos he feels shit about himself too, which really worried me. so I mentioned about it and he was really hacked off with me, thought I was trying to cause a row. Why am I so down on myself about these things?? He says that he was just joking and didn't even notice my chin and would still love me even if I put on 4 stone in weight. Is it the cannabis making me so paranoid about my looks?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): Hey guys, thanks for the advice.
Well as of yesterday I haven't had any weed so tomorrow morning it'll be 48 hrs. I feel so much better already - not flat in mood, so don't know whether that is my mind imagining it or what but at least I've made a positive step in making my mood better.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (26 January 2011):
 first step is DONT BUY any, and dont spend time with pot smokers until you have you head clear for at least a week.
anxiety and self conciousness/fear of social situations will lessen once the pot wears off and it could be a while for it to clear your system if you've been smoking shitloads day in day out.
its very possible to quit and it will improve your mood and attitude
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (26 January 2011):
you dont need rehab to quit cannabis- its so easy once you put your mind down to it
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): I think there is a good chance that the cannabis is causing your paranoia. Stop straight away. You are only 32, you cannot have gone downhill that much since your twenties. Look after yourself. If you have low self esteem, make sure you care for your appearence and health -it does make a difference. Stop agonizing over photos - noone likes pictures of themselves.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): Hey there BMP, that advice was very helpful thanks. I deep down know what this is all about but it helps to have someone confirm it for me. I need to be strong and try and stop smoking it. I have never felt this down on myself in my life and its affecting me bad. It's got the stage where I dread going out and seeing people. i just feel insecure all the time. I can't even enjoy a drink out with friends without feeling anxious about it before hand.
God, reading this back really sounds bad!
x
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A
male
reader, Dataluke +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Paranoia is a core side effect of cannabis and you need to get off it NOW!
Get yourself into rehab, the paranoia will disappear once your off it.
As for your boyfriend, its possible that he's getting down because he is worried about you.
I hope you recover soon.
All the best Dataluke
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (25 January 2011):
yes its making you paranoid, but depression is what is making you so negative thinking about your appearance.
cut the weed out and you might see a reduction in how sensitive you are to everything. sometimes you need to let anger and frustration out but with weed they seem to become internal- at least that was my experience. it tends to internalise and amplify whatever mood you are in, which if your depressed is depression.
make a break, and see how you feel sober, you might find that there are other aspects of your life you were ignoring that have been frustrating you and could be making you feel down. maybe it will be easier to improve how you feel with a clearer head.
in my experience hash/pollen/resin made me much less paranoid than brick weed which in turn made me less paranoid than skunk. skunk never put me in a good mood- it just got me wasted quickly
move on from pot and get busy
good luck
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