A
male
age
30-35,
*obThePizzaBoy
writes:So there's this girl I have a huge crush on at my lifeguarding summer job and have had a huge crush on her literally for two months since she first arrived to work here (before anyone says anything regarding that: it's perfectly okay for co-workers to date each other here with no consequence, I've seen it happen frequently) and for some reason, I have absolutely no problem just talking to her every so often and even told her she was "cute" right to her face last week. But when it comes to just finally asking her out, the thought just makes me freak out. I have always had very low self-confidence throughout my life due to being socially rejected by everyone in high school (one girl in particular probably kick-started my phobia of getting too close to them by hazing me in a big, humiliating way through Facebook) and took a break from woman in my first two years, I've always thought of myself as the exact guy girls DON'T want. This girl is the first time I have had real feelings for a girl in a long time yet I don't see why I get so afraid to ask her out. It's just every time I think of asking the big question, I just get shy and back away. I suppose I should mention that this IS the first time I'd be asking out a girl ever...
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a break, co-worker, crush, facebook, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2012): First post is great advice, definately work on realising that you're equally as good as anyone you meet and embrace yourself.
With asking her out why not arrange going out with a few people and include her? Then that night you can spend as much time as possible getting to know her outside of work without the pressure of having a date. If it goes well at the end of that night you could then ask to see her again by suggesting you get lunch together one day or a movie like "oh (think of a movie lol) is coming out soon, do you want to go watch with me?" Great excuse for getting her number to arrange a time to meet up.
Just be yourself as trying to act differently will be hard to keep up for too long. If things don't work out for whatever reason then treat it as good experience in asking girls out and if it does work out then great!
A
female
reader, mellie02  +, writes (8 August 2012):
Hi,
First let me tell you that you are definitely not alone in having low self esteem. Everyone feels that one way or another in life.. u need to work on that problem yourself,change the way you feel, concentrate on thing that you do like about yourself and build your confidence from it (n dont compare yourself to others- you dont know what their life journey is like), trust me- i always felt that i am never good enough for anyone, never pretty enough nor smart enough to be in a good relationship and you know what? i finally had enough and decided that i am good enough and deserve to be with the best! Someone out there will appreciate u for who you are.. and having said that- just be yourself and ask her out! keep it casual, dont stress yourself too much that she will reject you because chances are she might reject your or she might accept it;p there's no way of knowing until you try! at least try, dont let the fear of rejection be the reason for missing on life!..and even if she rejects your invitation dont kick yourself too hard- its not the end even though you might feel like it is but it is not! you tried and if she missed out a chance on getting to know you then it is her lost! someone else will appreciate u for who you are ;p and dont ever stop believing that you are worth it!
best of luck! hope things will work out great for you!
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