A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Last year while drunk at a works party a workmate and I expressed feelings for one another but in the cold light of day decided not to act upon them; firstly because work and play do not mix well and secondly we are both already attached. We put those feelings to one side and moved on remaining good work mates, lots of laughter, banter. watching each others backs, helping each other on projects etc. I think I read signs that he still had feelings for me but as we are both still attached and he hasn't voiced any I've moved on. My contract came to an end recently and although I applied for another position I was unsuccessful. After about a week I emailed a group of workmates to say thanks, goodbye and take care. All replied wishing me well and good luck apart from him. The next day I text him to say " just a personal note to say as you may know I've left the company today thanks for all your help and support use the summer to top up your tan,(i'd told him in the past how gorgeous he looks with a tan) best wishes and take care". He replied saying he had already been abroad but was still white all over. He didn't wish me well or say goodbye. Why would he not wish me well? Did he think the text was a come on and his response was a way to brush me off? Does he still have feelings for me or is he annoyed that I included him in the general email and didn't send a him one personally or discuss my leaving with him first? Being annoyed would seem unfair as my contract had finished, I didn't know I wouldn't get the new post and he was on holiday at the time. I think the truth is I feel a bit hurt that he doesn't seem to care about me enough to wish me well. Why didn't he wish me well and good luck? Any light shed on this would be greatly appreciated. thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2012): Thanks, I appreciate your thoughts on this and you're right I should just move on. thanks again
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2012): If you are both still attached then it is all a bit pointless. I would just forget it. You can't ever know what is going on in his head. You can only guess and would probably be wrong. So as much as you would like to move on with his blessing, as it were, that's probably not going to happen. Try not to analyse it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, I think deep down I wanted him to either say good luck and farewell which tells me he no longer has feelings for me or for him to say I still have feelings for you and I don't want to see you go. Bottom line I think I wanted him to wish me well and say he'll miss me. Which is what everyone else did. I suppose I wanted to leave feeling good about myself and that I'd handle the situation right. (selfish I know) The fact he did neither hurts a bit because it could imply he couldn't care less whether I'm there or not which is stupid because he doesn't owe me anything. But I feel I've left leaving him annoyed at me because I handled the situation wrong. Moving forward with the thought of him thinking ill of me makes me quite sad.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2012): Only he really knows that, a few things spring to mind 1) he still has feelings for you and is upset that he wont see you anymore 2) he thought your text was loaded so wanted to give you the brush off and let you know he has moved on 3) he could be annoyed that you initially emailed him along with everyone else therefore implying that you have moved on and no longer care for him (which would also suggest he still has feelings for you)4) maybe he doesn't believe that he wont see you again. I must say it seems a little odd that if he has moved on and no longer has feelings he couldn't simply wish you well and good luck. If he can't wish you well and no longer cares why bother to text you back?! Let it go, regardless of his feelings if he couldn't be mature and wish you well and good luck he isn't worth you time.
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