A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I desperately need some advise..I am a 30 year old woman who is living abroad. 1 month ago I met a very nice, well spoken, smart and attractive man. This guy treats me very well, he seems genuinely interested in me and I find him extremely easy to talk to. This is where things get complicated.. We kissed on our second date and I felt nothing. I wasn't repulsed but I didn't necessarily enjoy it either. I wasn't concerned about this because I thought the passion would grow in time. It has now been a month and we recently slept together and again I felt nothing. The sex wasn't actually bad but just "nothing". I didn't even want to cuddle with him afterwards which is unusual for me. Since we have slept together his text messages have been of a more sexual and flirtatious nature and I am now actually getting turned off him. I was supposed to see him tonight for dinner but I cancelled our plans. I would like to know if I should break it off with him? In my heart I feel that I should end it but it is difficult to let him go when he seems like a really good guy. I understand that good guys are rare!Thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2013): You're not attracted to the guy and there is no chemistry. You willfully deceived yourself and went where you should not have ventured. If you're not attracted to someone there is no sense being in a mock relationship with them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2013): Thanks AB! Your advice is very much appreciated xx
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (7 September 2013):
 Well it's safe to say if you haven't had the "phwoar" factor by now you're not going too.
In response to your question should you break up, that's up to you.
Are you happy to stay in a relationship where there is no passion for you?
You can't stay with someone you're not in love with or don't have feelings for because they're a nice guy.
Dating should be fun and you're just feeling confused and guilty.
The only thing I'm surprised about is that despite feeling no passion when you kissed him you still had sex with him and continued having intercourse despite being aware the passion was missing!
I think you know what you want from a relationship and this isn't it.
I hope this helps AB x
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